Friday, July 30, 2010

Spoon part 6

Our first stop was Seattle. The bus pulled up to our hotel and was immediately attacked by screaming fans. Our guards formed a pathway for us to get into the hotel. Luther stepped out first, holding a strap of his backpack with one hand and waving to our fans with a wide smile with the other. The fans exploded in screaming, some calling out his name, others the band name, and some just screaming wildly. Kevin stepped out next, waving with his nervous laugh. The screaming exploded again. After him was Joel, who stepped out with his head down. He lifted it and gave a lopsided grin the fans. The screaming exploded out a third time, more girls screaming out his name than had screamed for Luther or Kevin. I heaved a sigh and stepped out of the bus, giving them what they wanted- I stepped out with sunglasses on and took them off slowly, squinting out at the fans and lifting the side of my mouth just slightly. The yells were louder than with any of the other members, almost every girl screaming out my name, the hands that once been just reaching out now clawing at the guards to get closer to me. I shifted my duffel bag on my shoulder and ducked my head down, following the other band mates into the hotel quietly. That feeling, everyone lunging for me, screaming my name, risking everything to get closer to me, would have been exciting, adrenaline-building. I could have lifted my fist and gave out a whoop-or, at least, a girlish cheer- if only they were screaming for me. It was my voice they knew, but the face, the hair, the classic squinty-eyed, one side of the mouth lifted expression- that was all Jackson's.

I was happy to find out that we all got our own beds at this hotel. Finally, I would be able to stretch out my legs without being worried that I might kick Kevin. I threw my duffel onto my bed and fell backwards onto the soft covers, letting out a huge sigh. Kevin laughed and sat down on the bed next to me-even when we were on separate beds, some subconscious sense kept us close to our normal partners- and said, "I don't know how you do it, man. Don't get me wrong, the fans are just as exciting for me despite you getting a louder reaction, but, man, you just give them this, like, uncommitted face, like you've got better things you could be doing, and they fall to their knees." I laughed, "Oh, I doubt it's actually me. If you were the lead singer, and you gave them that face, they'd fall to their knees for you." Kevin laughed, "Touche." I sat up on my bed and watched as everyone settled onto their beds, letting themselves relax for a minute, and I reveled for the millionth time at the not-so-great odds that all of my band mates were attractive. Kevin, with his sandy blond locks that almost looked like they belonged on Edward from Twilight, his thin green eyes sparkling at the face of fans as his high-boned cheeks went red. His lips, as thin as his eyes, which he was never able to hide a smile with. And his body, the most buff of the three guys, which was completely toned and showed all of the working out he did. Then there was Luther, who was adorable in that goofy-halfback-guy kind of way. I could picture him slapping the hotshot quarterback on the shoulder after a good game with a huge grin, never taking the credit, always stepping back to let someone else bask in the victory, even when it really should be his. He had the classic light brown buzz cut, round-ish face, bright brown eyes, lips that were shaped for smiling, and a body that wasn't completely toned like Kevin, but was clearly kept in shape and had a good amount of muscle. And, of course, there was Joel. He-with-the-afore-mentioned floppy brown hair and big blue eyes that held a fascinating amount of emotion in them all the time. His face was sharp and rugged, yet smooth and lightly tanned. His lips were just full enough so that they were not girly but not thin. His body was not quite lanky, but not buff, either. He had some muscle, but somehow, the way he held himself made him look like, if he had to, he could beat you up worse than Luther or even Kevin ever could. Standing next to them, it was crazy to me that the fans found me the most attractive of all of them. Sure, my eyes were nice-bluish-green, or, as one fan described them, "The color of a wave as it's lifting up out of the ocean, right before it crashes." (That was a quote from a fan page that Luther thought completely necessary to read to me, that I had to pretend to laugh at when really I was cringing inside.) I had high cheekbones, not as sharp as Joel's but not as round as Luther's. My lips were full, fuller than Joel's, which was great when I was a girl but something I thought would be a weakness for me as a guy. Turns out, full-lipped pouts are the perfect accessory for a rock star, especially with the sparkle of my fake upper-lip ring to embellish them, giving my mouth the true rocker appearance. My eyelashes were long, but not so long that they looked weird for a guy. My wig, I had to admit, was cool-despite looking emo in my opinion. It, like my agent had assured me, did make me look like an emotional rock star. And my body, from an outsider's point of view, probably looked like the typical lanky, long, thin, hardly-muscled singer's body. Really, it was just the body of a girl who hated most sports and therefore didn't get a lot of exercise, but had a fast metabolism and did not get overweight, despite the insane amount of ice cream that I inhaled every day, which would probably catch up to me eventually, giving me all sorts of health problems. My skin was pale, never tanned, no matter the amount of sun I was revealed to. But it also didn't freckle. Overall, I looked like exactly what the world though I was- a dreamy lead singer of a rock band who sang instead of playing sports and stayed in my basement to write music instead of standing in the sunshine to tan, fully equipped with heart-stopping eyes and black, swishy hair that would cover those eyes when I angled my head toward the ground, creating the perfect you-can't-have-this effect. Really, though, I was just a girl with high cheekbones and pretty eyes who didn't work out and couldn't tan.

© 2010

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