Me and Julian part 5

I had a dream that night of the before. Before Julian, before this bliss that could be disturbed by no one. That time of despair, that time when I was so alone, the only person in the world, it felt like. I didn't want to think about why that despair had came, but it was a dream, and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw that face- that familiar face, the one I still saw every day, but in such a different way- as it smiled at and stroked my cheek with it's strong hand. I felt that warmth-that warmth that I also still felt every day. But it was real in the dream. It was the full warmth, not just a memory of the warmth that I had to force myself to believe was real, was really touching me. And then the face faded away from me. I called out, begging, pleading, crying for him to return to me. Crying for him to hold me again. And then I saw that face in front of my bent knees, but it wasn't what I wanted to see. It was that same face- but the body it was attached to was in a military uniform, with a gashing hole in it's chest. The face was scratched, ripped, dirty, bleeding. The lips were parted to say my name, but nothing came out. I screamed, burying my face into the chest, letting the blood from the wound cover my face and mat my hair. I looked up as I heard footsteps coming towards me. It was Jamie, and she was watching me, her expression sympathetic. "Jamie," I whispered, and for a moment she was with me, reaching out to me, to help me, and I reached out to her, letting her take my hand- but then she pulled away. With one last sad glance at my face, covered in his blood, she turned her body completely and walked away. I screamed out to her, as I had called out to him, but she didn't turn, she just kept walking... farther and farther from me... leaving me alone with the body.

I woke up sweaty and breathing heavily. I was once again alone. I turned, searching for Julian's shadowy figure on the couch next to me. I whispered his name into the silence, and then my door slammed open and Jamie came in. "Laura, are you alright?" I furrowed my eyebrows and she said, "You were screaming. Jeez, were you screaming. You're alright?" I nodded, my eyebrows still furrowed, and said, "Nightmare." She nodded, "Ok. So you're alright? You can sleep again?" I nodded, "I'm fine, sis. It was just a dream." She nodded, "Ok. 'Night." She stood up, glancing at me again before shutting the door and padding down the hallway, back to her own room. I turned my head and whispered, "Julian?" He came out of the shadows, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "You Ok baby?" he asked, and I was filled with an unbelievable happiness at the sound of his even voice, the sight of his clean, uninjured face, even if something tugged at me, telling me that he wasn't my real Julian. I nodded, ignoring the voice, and said, "I love you." He smiled at me, "I love you, too, baby." He kissed my forehead and I leaned my face into his chest. His healthy, full chest, with no wound, no gash. I pulled back and he said in a faint voice, "Go to sleep." I nodded and lay down, facing him on the bed. Just as I was about to fall back into a deep sleep, about to dream something new, he whispered in a voice so faint I could barely understand the words, "I'll be home soon." I opened my eyes and stared at him, but he had fallen asleep again, so I closed my eyes, forcing myself to do the same, pretending he had said nothing. Holding on to my bliss.

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