written by Karen Janszen
The theater was filled. Completely. I shook my head as Peter and I searched for a pair of empty seats. At any other school, this would never happen. At other schools, most guys who audition for plays are made fun of. Here, though, and for this particular play, you were made fun of if you didn't audition. Peter had seemed shocked when I had responded to Kelly Maya's inquiry of whether or not I was auditioning positively. I could tell he wanted to ask me the same questions I wanted to ask him, but he got an advantage over me as Kelly asked, "Oh really? I didn't think you would. What changed your mind?" I shrugged, "I don't know. I really like the movie. I don't think I'll get in anyway, so there's no reason not to audition. Besides, Peter's auditioning." Kelly nodded, "Ohhh, Ok. That's why." I frowned at her as she walked away and turned to Peter. His eyes had softened and his lips had curved upward just slightly in the corners. I wanted to say, "What?" but instead I looked at the floor, wondering why I was blushing.
There was one singing part in the play, and that was the part of Jamie Sullivan. I didn't really want to get into the play, and seeing as pretty much every girl in the junior and senior classes was trying put for the part, I figured auditioning for her would be my safest bet. Peter, too, auditioned for a main character, Landon Carter. I figured neither of us would get in and we could just go on with our lives. But as girls started auditioning, I felt myself wincing. I didn't have the voice of Mariah Carey or Alicia Keyes, but, according to visitors who heard my shower singing, I did have "a beautiful voice". I wasn't sure that it was exactly opera-singer material or anything, but it was certainly better than the singing spilling out of these girls. I was relieved when a few girls finally sang reasonably well, and one even better than Ms. Carey, but then they started acting. Apparently, at this school, it's one or the other, because none of them could act for the life of the, especially better-than-Mariah-girl. There were five of them, and two of them stood up there with their scripts, reciting the word emotionlessly, one recited the words emotionlessly memorized, one talked like she sang- with a beautiful, convincing voice but a completely blank expression, and the fifth, better-than-Mariah-girl, threw her arms about, widened her eyes to the size of golf balls, and practically screamed her lines into the audience. Everyone jumped back in their seats. When it finally came to my turn, my heart had dropped and my hands were shaking-not because I was scared of not getting in, but the opposite. I didn't exactly think the part of Jamie was pinned down to be mine, but I had a feeling that, with these options, I would definitely get a part somewhere in the play. I hadn't done a lot of acting outside of in-class productions and an acting camp I attended one summer before making an oath to never return, so I was hoping my lack of experience would work to my advantage. But, unfortunately, it was not my lack of skills in acting that inspired my hatred for acting camp, but the other campers. I was now horrified to remember that acting had almost came naturally to me. I had thought at the time that it made sense that I could act, since I was always pretending to be my characters and "acting" as them. Now, as I stepped onto the stage, I swallowed hard. "I'm Victoria Stephens," I said into the microphone, reciting the required introductory for everyone auditioning, "and I will be singing Only Hope by Mandy Moore." I moved slightly away from the microphone as I cleared my throat and nodded to the pianist. She played the first notes and I stepped back towards the mike, softening my eyes and raising my eyebrows slightly as I sang the first words, "There's a song that inside of my soul...It's the one that I've tried to write over, and over again...I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over and over again, so I lay my head back down... and I lift my hands and pray, to be only yours, I pray, to be only yours, I know now, you're my only hope." I paused as the pianist ran her fingers quickly and skillfully down the keys, and I felt myself getting lost in the song I grew up listening to, "Sing to me the song of the stars, of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again, when it feels like my dreams are so far... sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray, to be only yours, I pray, to be only yours, I know now, you're my only hope. I give you my destiny, I'm giving you all of-"
"That's enough, Miss Stephens," Mrs. Kimple, the drama teacher, cut me off. I blushed and nodded, hurrying towards the stairs that lead off the stage. "No, no, Victoria! You still have to recite your lines with Mr. Longway." I blushed brighter and nodded, "Oh, right, of course." I hurried back to the middle of the stage as Quinton Longway came out from backstage to go over my lines with me. He held out a script and I shook my head. He put it down beside him and turned to me, "I'll take you home, you'll be better to-" I cut him off, as Mandy had in the movie, "No, no, Landon! I'm sick." I paused. "I have leucemia." He laughed quietly, nervously, "No. You're-you're eighteen, you're-you're perfect."
"No, no. I found out two years ago and I've stopped responding to treatments." He looked down and paused. He looked up at me and I made my face appear as if I was trying to keep myself calm. "So why didn't you tell me?" I took a shaky breath in, "The doctor said I should go on, and live life normally," I motioned slightly with my arm, "as best I could, I-" I paused, "I didn't want anyone to be weird around me." I shrugged slightly, my eyes tearing. "Including me?" he asked, with slight anger. "Especially you!" I exclaimed in a shaky voice. I took a deep breath in, "You know, I was getting along with everything fine, I accepted it, and then you happened!" I looked up, tilting my head toward the ceiling, taking another deep, shaky breath in. "I do not need a reason to be angry with God," I said, my voice filled with tears. He brought his hand up to his hair in an expression of stress and I took another shaky breath before turning from him and running toward offstage, pretending to cry. I stopped running and turned to the audience, taking a breath in that was also shaky, but for different reasons. The audience broke out into applause and Mrs. Kimple nodded, releasing me to exit the stage. I hurried down the stairs and took my seat next to Peter.
© 2010
No comments:
Post a Comment