Enclosed part 14 (short story)

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I said, playing nervously with the edge of my shirt. I looked up at him, and he looked into my eyes. My stomach tightened into a knot and I swallowed. I looked down at my fingers again, continuing to play with my shirt. "I miss you, Jamie," Mitch whispered. My heartbeat quickened and I took a much-too-loud, shaky breath in. I looked up at him, my palms sweating and the knot in my stomach tightening even more. "I miss you too," I said. He looked down. "Then...why...but..." he wasn't stuttering. He was waiting for me to respond. "Those guys," I said, knowing exactly what he had been trying to ask, "meant nothing to me. I..." I trailed off, and once again looked down, wishing I had the confidence to just look him in the eye and tell him everything I wanted to say. "I was just trying to fill your place." He looked at me, "Did it work?" I shook my head. "It didn't work for me either," he said, sighing. I remembered the few girls he had dated since freshman year. Each new girlfriend of his had been like a slap in the face, especially the first one after me. He told me he couldn't be in a relationship when he knew he was going to die. Had he meant he couldn't be in a relationship, or had he meant he couldn't be in a relationship with me? At the time I had thought that he had used this as an excuse because he didn't love me, and he didn't want to waste what was left if his time with me. But now, as I thought about it, maybe it was because he did love me. And, like, myself for him, he couldn't deal with the thought of losing me. And he didn't want me to have to deal with losing him. But I needed him, even if it was just until he...until he was gone. "Mitch," I whispered, my eyes welling up with tears. I finally looked up at him, finally kept his gaze. "What are we doing?" He swallowed. "What?" he asked, his voice straggly. "What-" I started, but then he started coughing. Hard. A lot. "Mitch!" I screamed. He bent over, and tried to pick himself up on the couch. I helped him, freaking out, and he motioned to the kitchen, so I quickly brought him over to the sink. He coughed so hard as I pulled him along. It scared me. He leaned over the sink and blood came out of his mouth. I covered my mouth, crying hard. I didn't know what to do. "VIOLET!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, not moving away from Mitch's side. Violet came running down the stairs, and, seeing her brother, immediately ran over. "Go," she yelled at me. I walked over to the couch and sat down, holding my head in my hands. After a few minutes, he came back into the living room and lay down on the couch.

I got up and without thinking lay next to him. Luckily, I was thin and the couch was wide, so I didn't fall off. He took my hand in his own, and squeezed it. I turned on my side and stared at him-so tired, so weary, so weak. "He'll be fine," Violet said. "Happens..." she paused, lookng at the ground, "all the time." I nodded and she said, "Holler if you need me," she laughed then, "again." She walked back to the stairs and went back up them. I looked at Mitch again. He had his eyes closed and he was breathing heavily. "You're ok?" I whispered. He nodded, "Violet...she's a good sister." He smiled and chuckled, and then took my hand up to his lips, kissing it. I was startled, and clearly he was too, because he opened his eyes and then sat up. "Ok. The world hasn't stopped. What now?" What now? Good question.

What now, Mitch Merson?

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