Thursday, June 25, 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 9

Monday before school I found myself going out of my way to look good. Something to do with Tyler? Definitely. I put on jean shorts and a white flow v-neck shirt with a blue rose pattern around the neck cut and sleeve ends. I put on mascara and a light layer of clear lip gloss. I brushed out my hair and smiled at my reflection. I had put my hair into one thick braid before I went to bed on friday night, and I had left it in all weekend. My hair was curly. I slipped on white flip flops from Charlotte Russe and walked out of the door. I was about to walk over to the bus stop when someone drove up in a small black car. They rolled down the window and I smiled widely when I saw the driver. "Hey!" Tyler said, "Need a ride?" I smiled and nodded. Tyler got out and opened his passenger door for me. I got into the car, shivering slightly. "Are you cold?" he asked. "Its fine. Its just kinda chilly outside, you know. No biggy."
"Here," he said, taking off his black leather jacket and handing it to me. "Its ok-" I started to say. "Take it," he interrupted. I couldn't help but grin as I slipped the jacket over my sleeveless shirt. I felt totally cliche, but I didn't mind. The leather worked well with my outfit, surprisingly. "You look beautiful," he said. I blushed, and he quickly said, "Uh...in that jacket!" I laughed, "Yea, guys' leather jackets really work on me." He smiled. We pulled into the parking lot at school and he opened my door for me. If it was possible, I felt like there was more people staring now than there was on Tyler's first day at this school. Even TEACHERS were staring. People just stopped walking and stared at us. I felt like I was walking down a red carpet. Having his jacket on was not helping at all. "Not going out, huh?" Selena mumbled with a laugh as  we walked past her and Jayd. Edwin Drawe looked at Tyler and wiggled his eyebrows. Tyler blushed like a red rose. Some people started rolling their eyes as we past them, and Tyler's reaction to this was very surprising to me. He grinned, in a slightly mischievous way,  and put his arm around me. My eyes widened. I heard a few gasps and held back a laugh as I realized that shocking people was just what Tyler was aiming for. He sure got what he wanted.
At lunch,  Tyler grabbed my hand and whisked me to our table. I sat down and he sat down next to me. He put his around my shoulders and I laughed, "What are you doing?" I whispered. "Watch," he said. He leaned it toward me and whispered, "When I back up, you laugh. In a girly way? Ok?" I nodded. He leaned away from me and I giggled. I looked around to see what everyone's reaction was, and everyone was staring at us and whispering. I laughed, "You are a true genius. But what's the point of this?"
"Nothing," he said as he took a bite of his pizza, "its just REALLY fun." 

I may have been doing those things to get a reaction, but it wasn't like I didn't enjoy them. Having my arm around Angela's shoulders was like heaven on earth. And her giggle was the most adorable thing I had ever heard. UGH! Why couldn't I just tell her? I wasn't doing any of this to get attention! I was...madly in love! There. I said it. I was madly in love! After school, Angela grabbed my hand and walked with me to the parking lot. "Angela?" I asked. She turned to me, "Yea?" I blanked out. I had to say something. "Do you want go to dinner with me this weekend?" She blinked, "You mean...on a date?"
"Um..."
"Well, my parents aren't home, and I don't like making dinner, so yea, I'll have dinner with you," she said with a smile. It was so frustrating! Did she like me...the way I liked her? She smiled and got into the passenger seat of my car. I closed my eyes and breathed in. "Don't hurry it, Tyler," I said to myself, "don't hurry it." I opened my eyes and got in the driver's seat.


Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 8

I walked up to the gym holding Angela's hand. She looked nervous as I handed two tickets to the high school vice principal. "Don't worry," I whispered to her as I pulled her with me into the gym. It was dark and there were multi-colored lights shining on the floor. "I've never been to one of these..." she started to say. "One second," I replied. I let go of her hand and walked over to the DJ. I handed him my iPod. "Could you play the fifth track?" I asked him. He nodded and plugged in my iPod. The song 'All the Above' started to play. I offered her my hand, "I don't think this song is for slow dancing..." she whispered to me. "If we go in the middle of the room under the lights, then I think it will become a slow dance song," I said. She smiled and blushed as I pulled her through the clumps of people. We stopped in the middle of the room and started dancing. I twirled her and she laughed. "I didn't know you could dance," she said as she laughed. "There's a lot about me you don't know," I said. She laughed.

Sure enough, people started slow dancing around us. Maybe not as well as Tyler and I, but they were trying. Tyler was amazing! "Where did you learn to dance like this?" I asked him between giggles. "You know, here and there," he said. I laughed as he lifted me up in a ballerina position and spun me three times. By now, everyone had basically stopped dancing and started staring at us as Tyler did all sorts of tricks. At that moment, I was extremely thankful that I had taken ballet most of my life.

Everyone stared at me as I tried every trick I knew with Angela. She laughed and I smiled widely. I loved her laugh. I wished that this moment could last forever. The song ended and I pulled Angela out of the middle of the room. The rest of the night was much more mellow, but it was still enjoyable. I grabbed my iPod as we left. I brought her home and walked her to her door. "Thank you," she said, "I feel like Cinderella." I laughed, "But you still have both shoes," I said. She laughed, "Yea, strangely. I thought they were gonna fall off when you picked me up. I smiled. She went on her tip toes and kissed me on the cheek. My eyes widened. "Thank you," she said. My eyes wouldn't go back to their normal size and she blushed and went inside. I stood there and stared at the door for a while. Eventually I composed myself and walked over to my car. I got into the driver's seat and couldn't hold it in any more. I screamed.

I was smiling as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. I watched Tyler through the front window. He stood there for a while. Then he got into his car. I looked down, and then suddenly he screamed and screeched off. I laughed. 

© 2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 7

I walked into Tammy's house. "TAMMY?" I called. "IN HERE!" she screamed back. "Wha-" I started to say. "Ta-da! Our dresses!" Tammy said. I laughed and hugged her, "Tammy! They're so beautiful! Did you make these?" Tammy smiled and nodded, "Yup. Took me three weeks!" In front of me were two of the most amazing dresses I had ever seen. "This one is yours," Tammy said as she handed me my dress. It was short and black and white. The top/left side of it was white and the bottom/ right side of it was black. The split had white ruffles that had sparkles, silver jewels, and black roses on it. It was gorgeous! Tammy's dress was also short. It was tie-died on the top half. Then there was a sewn in silver belt that had a pattern of jewels on it. The bottom half was white with thin black material over it. "And here's the shoes..." Tammy said as she grabbed a shoe box out of her huge mound of material in her sewing room. She opened the shoe box and revealed two pairs of high heels. Mine were black pumps with white sparkles and five straps. Hers were platforms that were tie-died and sparkly. "Tammy! This is amazing! I love you!" She smiled, "I know. Are we going to be the most beautiful girls there or WHAT?" I laughed and nodded.
I sat on the couch in Tammy's sewing room and watched as she fixed a rip in her favorite shirt. "So, did anyone ask you yet?" she said abruptly. "Huh?" I asked, coming back from space. "Did anyone ask you yet? To the dance?"
"Oh. Um...yea."
"Really? Tell, tell!" she said. I smiled, "Tyler asked me," I said. "Aww!" she said. "Tell me more!"
"It was so cute! He was stuttering so much, I couldn't even tell what he was saying!"
"Man, he is totally in love with you," Tammy said. I laughed, "Hardly."
"No seriously!" she said. "You should see the way he stared at you today. He couldn't see anyone else, I swear." I blushed. "Maybe..." I said. "Just wait 'til tonight. You'll see." Tammy said with a smile. I smiled too.
I put on my suit and tried to straighten my tie. My older sister had come home for the day because she was so excited about my date for the dance. She said that Angela and I were a love story just waiting to be written. Jane ran into the room, totally giddy, and helped me straighten my tie. "Go, go! Don't keep her waiting!" she said. She waved goodbye as I backed out of the driveway in my dad's car. I drove to the street I knew Angela lived on and saw her standing outside her gate waiting for me. I pulled up in front of her and caught my breath. She was absolutely radiant. She had on an amazing dress and her hair was straightened. She had white eyeshadow on and it brought out her eyes. Her lips were bright red. "You look...amazing," I said as she got into the car. She blushed, "You're not so bad yourself," she replied.

© 2009






Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 6

I got off the bus and walked down the narrow pathway to my house. "Hello Tyler honey. How was school?"
"Good...I guess," I replied. "The kids at my school have something seriously wrong in their brains," my little sister said as she slammed the front door behind her. "Hello sweetheart...how...how was your first day of school?" my grandma asked cautiously. "Messed up. SERIOUSLY messed up."
"How so?" my grandma asked. "No offense, grandma, but you wouldn't understand. You're not in middle school."
I rolled my eyes. Girls.

I walked into my house and my little brother walked in behind me. "Man, school sucks," my brother said. I didn't ask him why, but he told me anyway. "There's this new chick at my school, and all the guys were like obsessing over her even though she's a total emo. Man, she's a freak."
"Nice. You don't even know her, how can you say she's a freak?"
"'Cause she is," he replied. I rolled my eyes, "Whatever. I'm not you're mom, so I won't lecture you." My brother walked over to the fridge and pulled out the milk. "Thanks," he said. He chugged the milk. "Dude! Come on, get a glass! I don't want your nasty little germs in my milk!" I yelled at him. He laughed, "Mah bad. I'll be upstairs if you need me."
"Why would I need you?" I called after him. He laughed and closed his bedroom door behind him. I put the milk away and wiped the counters, stalling going upstairs. After the whole kitchen was basically sparkling, I sighed and trudged up the stairs. I opened the door to my room with my eyes closed. I opened my eyes and to my surprise, no memory came. I looked around the whole room, and still nothing came. I sat down on my bed. I was shocked. This was the first time since the death that I hadn't had a memory when I walked into that room. Maybe I was getting over it. I sure hoped so. I would have done my homework, but I finished it in study hall. I picked up my clothes and brought them down to the laundry room. "HEY BRAT!" I yelled up at my brother. "WASSUP?" he yelled back, not hurt at all. "BRING DOWN ANY DIRTY CLOTHES YOU HAVE! WHITES ONLY!" I yelled. "SIR YES SIR!" he yelled back. I took all my white dirty laundry and poured it into the washing machine. My brother came downstairs with a basketful of clothes and dumped it in with mine. I put the laundry soap in and turned it on and my brother went back upstairs. I walked into the living room and put on the TV. I was watching the movie 'Another Cinderella Story' intently when the phone rang. I paused the movie and walked over to the phone. "Hello?" I asked half heartedly, not wanting to get into a conversation right in the middle of the movie. My mind changed when I heard whose voice was on the other line. "Hey Angela. Its Tyler," Tyler said. I grinned, "Hey Tyler! How'd you get my number?"
"Uhhh...phone directory..."
"Oh. Right," I replied. He laughed, "So...uh..."
"Yea? You need the homework pages or something?"
"Um...no..."
"Ok...what's up?"
"Um...you know, since I'm uh new to the school...I don't uh really know...anyone..." he said. I tried to figure out what he was getting at. "So I uh...wanted to...ask someone...and you're the only...uh..."
"What are you getting at? I'm not really getting it," I said. He sighed, and there was silence for a few seconds, "What I'm trying to...say...is...do you want to go to the dance with me?" I hadn't even known there was a dance. Geez, this guy had been here for a day and he was already more informed than me. I smiled, "Sure. I'll go with you." He practically shrieked on the other end. I laughed, "Umm...ok....see you there!" he said. "Wait!" I said quickly. "Yea?"
"When is it?"
"Tomorrow night."
"A saturday night dance?"
"Yup."
"Ok. See you there."

© 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 5

English was very, very awkward. All the 'popular' girls were talking nonstop about Tyler and I as if we weren't sitting right next to them. "Great, a new guy comes to the school and she immediately takes him. She already has all the guys at this school at her feet, why does she need to take him too?" Selena said. I blushed a very bright red. "Well, they are a cute couple. They both have black hair, and their eye colors go well together...and she's a good height for him."
"Well at least she's taken now. That means the other guys at this school are available..."
"But none of them are as good looking as him."
"True..."
Seriously, you'd think they would whisper or something. It was like they wanted me to hear them. I leaned over to them and whispered, "I'm NOT going out with Tyler. We just met the other day down by Pike's creek." Jayd leaned out of her seat toward me and said, "I heard you saved him from drowning and then gave him CPR! Is that true?" I rolled my eyes, "Some of it is true." Selena looked at me with a suspicious expression, "The CPR part or the rescuing part?" 
"Puh-lease! The rescuing part."
"Wow, Angela, you're so brave!" Jayd said. "Girls! Please stop talking," Mr. Yarber said. "Sorry Mr. Yarber," Selena said. I leaned against my chair and looked up at the clock. The last thing I cared about right now was Shakespeare. 

"Hey, man! You've been here, what, two minutes and you've already got every girl at the school fallin' ALL OVER YOU! Nice!" someone said to me. I grinned, "I don't know what's up with that. Probably just 'cause I'm new, you know." The guy stuck out his hand to me, "The name's Ed. Ed Drawe." I held back a laugh, "Short for?"
"Edwin."
"Cool. Nice to meet you, Edwin."
"Hey, man, you play any sports? You should try out for the basketball team."
"Nah, its not really my thing. I prefer water stuff, like you know, water polo."
"Seriously?"
"Yea," I said. He shrugged, "That's cool I guess. But we'll sure be bummed not to have you on the team. Tall guy like you would really help us out, 'specially right now. We've been, like, losing EVERY game! It sucks, man!"
"I bet," I replied simply. Mr. Yarber cleared his throat and I turned back to the board.  

After school, Tyler walked to the bus stop with me. "So, how was your first day of school?" I asked. "Overwhelming!" he replied. "Man, I think I've been asked to join every sport that exists! I CANNOT believe the sport department at this school! I mean, seriously, you have rugby! And cricket! I have never once been to a school that has cricket!" I laughed, "Yea. We're a pretty sporty school." He laughed, "Seriously."

© 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 4

I sat on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. Why couldn't I stop thinking about her?! I'd had girls before that gave me butterflies or whatever, but this feeling was a thousand times more overpowering than any of those crushes had been. She was all I could think about! I couldn't breathe when I thought about her, which meant that at the moment I had a major lack of oxygen entering and exiting my lungs. I had met this girl two times! Its not like this feeling had been building up within me every time I saw her. The feeling had entered me the first moment I had seen her, and I couldn't get rid of it. Not that I wanted to.

I grabbed my backpack and raced out the door, not wanting to miss the bus again. I was quite used to having my parents' car to get me to school, and since my parents had taken the car with  them, I had to ride the bus. Not exactly my favorite thing to do. I got on the bus and walked to the very back. An eighth grader got out of their seat and offered it to me, and I sat down. I started reading "Flipped" and looked up when the bus came to a stop at the bus stop that we usually passed. Tyler got onto the bus and smiled at all the people staring at him. He sat down in an available seat in the front. The bus was quiet for a minute, and then everyone started talking again. All the girls whispered, "Who is he?"
"He's fine!"
"Have you seen him before?"
"He's so cute!"
I smiled to myself. Somehow I wasn't surprised by the response Tyler was getting from all the middle  school girls. He definitely was 'fine'. 
We all got off the bus and filed into the crowded hallways, the middle schoolers going to the middle school building and the high schoolers to the high school building. Suddenly everyone was talking about Tyler. It was insane! Even the senior girls were drooling over him, and the popular guys in every grade were discussing getting him onto the football team. I knew that he would be popular, but I didn't know it would be this immediate! I started feeling threatened as all the girls whispered about him and whistled when he walked by. I walked straight to my locker and spun the lock furiously, taking my pointless jealousy out on it. "ANGELA!" I heard from down the hallway. I spun around and saw Tyler waving to me from the other side of the school. I smiled as he pushed his way politely through all the crowds of people that were obsessing over him and ran over to me. "Hey Tyler. Or should I say Edward? John?" I said playfully. He laughed, "Now let's not confuse everyone. Geez! I feel kind of like everyone is staring at me..." I laughed too, "That's because they are! Are you a world famous movie star? You really should have mentioned that to me." He smiled and shrugged. "Aw, you  know, it just slips my mind sometimes," he said as he motioned with his hand. "Seriously," I said, "Now you're bringing attention to me! Tyler, you're going to ruin my reputation! I can't be seen with movie stars!"  He laughed, "Ok. Do you know where room...102 is? I think its...English. Yea, English." My eyes widened, "Hey! That's my first class too!" I said with excitement. "Wouldn't you know it?" he said, also with excitement, "Well then, my lady, lead the way!" I smiled, grabbed his hand and pulled him quickly along with me to the English room. All feelings of jealousy were completely gone.

Her hand felt so small and delicate around mine. I was trying to keep my face composed as she pulled me through the crowds of people staring at me and Angela and I's hands. She turned her head and smiled at me as she pulled me up the staircase. Her smile was so beautiful, and it combined with having her hand wrapped around mine was almost more than I could handle. I could hardly keep myself from screaming. 

© 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 3

I looked into his eyes. He kept looking ahead as we walked. He was so...beautiful. It amazed me that a person like this would waste a moment of his time to talk to me. He looked at me ad grinned. I blushed and looked forward. "So, Angela," he started, "how long have you lived here?"
"About fifteen years."
"Oh. So you never lived anywhere else?"
"Nope."
"Wow," he said, "you must have a lot of memories here." I sighed and nodded, "Good and bad."
He nodded too, "Yea." He looked over at me and said, "There's a lot of things I wish I could erase, you know?" I nodded and sighed heavily, "Believe me, I know." I imagined pushing my sister out of the way right before I slapped down the five, so that the baseball wouldn't have done much more than break my window. "Well, I've got to be on my way," he said. I smiled and nodded, "Ok."
"See you around?"
"Most likely," I said. He waved and walked away. The wind blew my hair over my face as I headed back to my house. It seemed like there was someone, somewhere, who was trying to make me forget. Trying to make me move on from my sister's death. To grow from it, even. But it wasn't working. All the distractions only made the wound more noticeable.

I walked through the trees away from her, wondering what it was that kept her down. She seemed to put only half of herself into everything she did. The one time I had seen her use everything she had was when she saved me. Her wet hair and determined eyes flashed through my mind again. That was the only moment I had seen her eyes so full. All of the time I had been with her today, her emotions seemed to sit within her eyes next to another emotion that would always remain: sadness. I knew that something had happened to her that she could never forget. I knew that a boyfriend was probably the last thing in the world on her mind. But I kept remembering her with her arms wrapped around me, the only time that the sadness was gone from her eyes, replaced with one whole emotion. Only when she was saving me.

"This is the last goodbye I'm ever gonna say, this is the last goodnight I'm ever gonna waste, this kiss is poisonous, if you can't control the way it enters your soul!" she sang as she jumped up and down on my bed. I laughed. "One love! One life! One love is better than you tonight!" I sang along with her. We flopped down onto the bed, laughing together.
I closed my bedroom door behind me and sat down in front of it, not attempting to fight the tears. I knew that my memories and breakdowns were not going to help heal me. But how could I help it? Every time I walked into that room, something came back to me. Something that reminded me of her. There had never been a time when I had sat in this room without her. Now every time I sat in the room, she wasn't there. Like Tyler had said, I had a lot of memories here. Endless painful, heartbreaking memories.
"I'm HO-OME!" my brother sang as he slammed the front door behind him. I wiped away my tears, rinsed my face to get rid of the redness in my eyes and rushed downstairs. "Hey Jake. You wanna watch something?" I asked. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out the potato chips. "Sure. What do you wanna watch?"
"How about...Twilight?"
"How about we don't watch a chick flick AGAIN?" he said with sarcasm. "Ok Mr. tough guy. What do YOU want to watch?"
"How about Prom Night?"
"That movie is way too creepy. No way."
"How about we just flip on the TV and see what's on?"
"Sounds good to me."

© 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 2

I climbed up into the treehouse battling tears. The planks of wood were worn down, and I made sure to hold on to the trunk as I sat in the treehouse and wept silently. The treehouse was so high up, I wondered how we had managed to build it. "Pardon me," a voice said. I sat up and looked down. Standing there was the boy I had rescued the day before. "Oh, hello," I said, wiping my tears. "Something burdens you..." he started, "and seeing as I owe you my life, I would like to help rid you of this burden." I smiled weakly, "I'm afraid there's not much you can do, John. May I ask your name?" He put his hand up, "No, no, let's stick with John for now. We'll get into that later." I grinned, "Ok then John. Any reason you're wandering the woods pointlessly?"
"I could ask you the same."
"Aw, but I'm not wandering pointlessly. I had a destination."
"Touche. Well, I was wandering because...well I've lived around here for about a week now, and I still hadn't been out here, so I figured I ought to check it out before it made me crazy."
"Oh really? So not seeing every inch of this wood would have made you crazy then?"
"Indeed. Vastness really gets to me. I like to stop and smell the roses. Every single one of them."
"Oh? What if there was a field full of roses?"
"Then that would be very unfortunate for me."
"Why?"
"Because when you walk through a field full of roses, you're bound to get pricked," he said. I nodded, "That is true of many things."
"Indeed. People mostly," he said. I nodded, "Yes."

"Yes." she said. I looked out at the trees, "Would you walk with me then, ma'am? Perhaps tell me of your unremovable burden?" She smiled half-heartedly, "I'll walk with you. But lets leave my burden unmentioned."
"As you wish," I replied simply. She climbed down from the tree and jumped to the floor. She was priceless. Every moment with her was irreplaceable. "So, John, you said you have been here for only a week..."
"Yes. I'm quite the wandering kind usually, but this place is really earning the liking of me," I said. This mostly because of the girl I was walking with. "Can I ask you something?" she inquired. I put my hands out, "Anything, my lady!"
"Why are we talking in Old English terms?" she asked with a smile. I laughed, "Well, I would answer that, but frankly I haven't the slightest idea why we are. Maybe its because you called me John." She stopped walking and put one hand to her chest, "You mean your name isn't really John?" she asked playfully. I laughed, "No, its, 'Edward'," I said with a strong and completely fake English accent. She laughed, "Well, 'Edward', my name is Angela." I put my hands on my hips, "For reals?" I asked in a mockingly urban tone. She laughed, "I know, right?!" she replied in a valley girl voice. We both laughed. "Well Angela, my name is Tyler." She put on a confused expression, "Wait, ok, like, I'm TOTALLY confused. First you were John, then you were Edward, and now you're like, Tyler? Like, dude, you should, like make up your mind," she said in her valley girl voice. I laughed, "Dude, mah bad. Its Tyler, man. And proud OF IT!" I said, still in the urban tone. She laughed and said in a normal voice, "So, Tyler, how old are you?"
"Fifteen," I replied, "but I'll be sixteen in the fall. You?"
"Fifteen. But I'll be sixteen in the summer."
"But...it is summer," I replied. She smiled, "Yeah. I'll be sixteen next summer."
"Ha ha!" I exclaimed. "What?" she asked, genuinely curious. "I'm the elder!" I said. She laughed, "Indeed," she said. I smiled too. Its amazing how one minute you see a stranger and the next you see the person you know you belong with.

© 2009

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts (short story) part 1

It was hot. I'm talking, like, 200 degrees! Ok, not really, but it sure felt like it. I had on my shortest pair of shorts and a black and white striped tank top. My charm bracelet was cold and felt nice on my burning skin. My hair was up in a huge, thick ponytail. Long, thick black hair+ burning hot sun= major disaster. My windowless room was no help to the searing temperature. I couldn't lay down on my bed because contact with my down covers meant more heat than I could handle. All I really wanted to do at that moment was go outside...get a glass of ice water and jump into the creek. I could hear the rushing water of the creek from my room, and it was killing me. If I did have windows, I would have jumped out of one. My door was locked. Its not like I was on time out or something, I'm fifteen years old. It just so happens that my parents went on vacation and left me with the whole house all to MYSELF. Heaven, right? Well, it was quite enjoyable until I walked up to my room to grab the novel I was reading, "Flipped", and the wind smacked my door closed, leaving me locked in. Does this suck or WHAT?
Eventually, I got a hold of my little brother's cell phone and he jogged home from his friend's house to let me out and mock me about how only a serious idiot could find a way to lock themselves in their own room. I would have argued, but I wasn't in the mood to get into it. My brother went back to his friend's house and I sat down at the kitchen counter with "Flipped" and started reading. When I was about twenty pages into the book, I heard a knock on the door. I folded my page and walked over to answer it, figuring my little brother forgot a video game or something. I opened the door and found my neighbor, Mrs. Jason, standing outside my door with a frightened look on her face. "Mrs. Jason! Are you all right?" I asked with a worried tone. "Oh, Angela! You'll never believe what I've just seen!" she said in terror. "What?! What did you see?!" I practically screamed. "Down at the creek! There's a boy! He's drowning! I couldn't do anything, I'm much too weak, and he was so far out! Oh, Angela! You must help him!" Before the old woman was able to complete her sentence, I was bounding off to the creek. All those track meets were finally paying off.
Sure enough, I got to the creek and found a boy about my age being gulped up by the current. I hadn't the slightest idea of what to do. So I just jumped in after him. If I hadn't been such a strong swimmer, I admit that would have been one of the dumbest things I ever did. The boy wouldn't grab onto me. "Grab my arm!" I yelled through mouthfuls of water. He wouldn't do it. I swam all the way out to him and wrapped my arms around his stomach. He tried to kick as I dragged him through the current and back to the shore, but the poor thing had absolutely no energy left in him. I gasped for air as I pushed him up onto the dirt. After I had caught my breath, I quickly pushed down his stomach. Once, nothing. Twice, nothing. Three times, water came out of his mouth like a shower faucet and he gasped for air. "Its gonna be ok, its alright," I said to him as gasped again and again. "Its ok, stay calm, I'm gonna get you some help," I said soothingly. Right on cue, four paramedics ran up. Maybe a couple too many if you ask me, but they did their job. They checked his heart rate and talked to him, asking him questions about how he had gotten into the river and if he was feeling ok. "Ya, ya I'm fine," he said, ignoring the question about the river, He pointed to me, "She...she helped me out," he said slowly, still catching his breath. "Nice work young lady," a man said to me. I nodded. By this time a crowd had gathered. Not wanting to get raveled up in questions and worried neighbors, I quickly jogged back to my house. I heard, "Hey! Wait!" coming from the boy who had almost drowned, but I didn't turn back. I knew my neighbors, and all going back would do was get me stuck with a bunch of freaked out people for at least an hour.

"Oh, honey are you all right?"
"Boy, you must be freezing!"
"Oh, that looked so scary!"
"I thought you were gonna die!" everyone yelled at me as I stood up. I tried to look past all the elderly woman and find the girl who had just saved my life, but she was running off. "Hey! Wait!" I yelled after her, but that only made her run faster. "Excuse me, pardon me, thank you," I said as I shoved my way through the large crowd of fascinated neighbors. I took off after the girl.
By the time I got out of the thick trees and shrubbery, the girl was long gone. The street I was standing on seemed endless, and there was no way I was going to be able to figure out where this girl lived. I pictured her long, soaking wet black hair in my mind and the beauty of her determined green eyes as she had wrapped her arms around me and pulled me out of the water. She was the only thing on my mind for the rest of the day and all of the night, and I simply HAD to see her again.

I brought out the trash later that evening and breathed in the calming smell of the pine trees and the creek's mist. The sky was dotted with a million stars that sparkled like the water of the creek. Mrs. Jason walked by me with her miniature poodle and said, "What a brave girl you are! I could have never jumped in after him like that when I was your age! Well done, my dear!" I smiled, "Thank you, Mrs. Jason, but it was no big deal."
"It was most certainly a big deal!" she protested, "You saved someone's life! Could you imagine what a 'big deal' it would have been for his family if they found his body dead in that creek? Can you imagine what a 'big deal' it would be to you if that boy had been your little brother? Don't you ever tell yourself that your rescue today was 'no big deal'! I'm sure there are many, many people who would be very distressed if you hadn't jumped in after him!" I smiled, "Thanks," I said as I walked back up my pathway. I hadn't thought of it that way. I suppose what I had done was a big deal. I tried to remember what the boy had looked like. He had black hair and blue eyes. He was muscular, but not too big and buff. He was tall. I tried to imagine what his girlfriend would look like...probably blonde...thin...tall...blue eyes. Yea. The perfect girl. He seemed like the kind of guy who would date the perfect girl. I yawned and walked up to my room to get right into bed. It had been quite a day.
I woke up the next day with a serious case of house-a-phobia. I grabbed a pop tart and walked out of my house. I headed straight toward the trees. I walked and walked until I reached the place where my sister and I had built a tree house so many years ago. The tragic occurrence of my sister's death came rushing back to me. It had been so fast, so unexpected, so pointless. Nobody got revenge from it, it didn't release her from any pain, nobody was to blame for it. We had been sitting in my room playing cards. She was sitting against my wall, underneath my huge round window. I had just slapped down a five when suddenly a baseball crashed through the window. My basic instincts sent me flying off the bed. I propelled myself against the back wall and screamed. It lasted about two seconds, and then I opened my eyes. My window was shattered, and my sister sat on my floor, dead. A piece of glass had stabbed her in the heart. So quick. An innocect game of cards. An innocent boy practicing baseball with a ball launching machine. Then BOOM! My sister is dead. Dead from a freaking piece of glass! That broken glass broke my heart. My parents had all the glass from the windows removed from our house and replaced with shatterproof glass. My room was rid of windows completely. The darkness of my room became a constant reminder to me of what had happened. My sister and I had been closer than any two people have ever been. We loved each other. We did everything together. And then she shattered. She disappeared from my life. My heart was broken, and I thought I could never love anyone again. Of course I still loved my family, but they had never been as close to me as she had. Losing her was like like losing half of me. It was the end of my life. It was more than a fourteen year old girl could handle.

© 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Daughter of the Third Wife (short story)

I dove into the waterhole and stayed under for quite a while. By the time I came back up, Addo had grown bored and strayed away. He thought he was so great just because his name meant "king of the road". So what if his name meant that? Of course, he always picked on me because my name was Nhamo, which means disaster. I stood up for myself. "That is only because my father wanted a son to be the heir to his throne. I am the one here who actually has royal blood in my veins, rather than just having a name with the word 'king' in it," I would say. "You may have royal blood in your veins, but no one cares. Your father shipped you and your mother off to another husband and now you are known as 'daughter of the third wife'! That's almost as bad as your real name!" He replied, laughing. After that happened, all my past came rushing back. My father had shipped me off. Like a package. He sent me away like I was a burden and he needed to rid himself of me. Then I got here and this boy just decided that he wanted to constantly annoy and pester me. I sat down with my feet in the waterhole. Addo started to walk away. I stuck my head in between my knees and stared at my reflection in the water. My hair was dark and straight. People always told me I was unique because no other girl in our village had straight hair. But to me it just seemed like I was an outcast, and every time I saw my reflection it reminded me that I didn't belong here. It wasn't that I didn't love the village, but I knew that I had been rightfully born into a very wealthy place where I could have people who brought me my food ready to eat rather than ready to clean. Addo turned and looked back at me when he noticed my silence. I didn't look up, but I noticed his presence and when he didn't leave after a moment, I looked up. "What do you want?" I asked. I stood up, "Do you want me to prepare your food for you? Shall I lay out your gowns for you, your highness? Let me get the water in a bowl to wash you feet with!" I yelled at him. He took a step toward me and I took a step away. His eyes looked concerned. My expression changed to confused. I ran away from him as far as my legs would take me. At least a mile away from the village, I dropped into the sand feet first. I laid there and stared up at the sky. I closed my eyes, not wanting to blind myself under the burning sun. Shade came over me. I opened my eyes and saw Addo standing over me. I sat up immediately, "Di-did you follow me here?" I asked. He widened his eyes. I watched as he tried to think of something to say. "Well...I am king of the road. No one steps out of the village without consulting me!" I put my hands on my hips, "The hunters do." He put his hands on his hips too. I waited to see what he would say, expecting a lot. Although I did despise Addo, I had to admit he was quick to think. He always got himself back on his feet when he slipped. It was one of the few qualities I admired about him. "I'm sorry, I must have not been paying much attention to what has been going on lately. I had no idea you became a hunter!" he said with a grin. I took the carpet out from under him by playing along, "Yes well, maybe you should be more observant. Were you zoned out during my entire rite of passage ceremony?" He replied quickly. "Yes, I believe I was somewhere else. You know, mind wandering and all that," he said with a dramatic wave of his hand. I tried hard not to smile. "Tsk tsk," I said as I pointed at him and moved my finger side to side, "You really should work to keep your head out of the clouds." He looked up at the sky. "I don't think that will much of a problem my dear, especially considering the awfully hot weather we always have," he said in Ababuo's voice. Ababuo was the most elderly woman in our village, and she was always complaining about the constant sun. Some say that she was born in a place with large trees, many lakes and rivers, and constant rain. I laughed and he smiled. Although I really did not like Addo, it seemed that every time I was very down he brought me back up.
Mother told me that Addo only made fun of me constantly because I appealed to him, but I did not believe. All that boy cared about was himself and his lion tooth necklace. He was always telling me stories about that necklace, and I must admit that it did appear that he liked me when he showed it off to me like that, especially since he never showed it to any of the other girls in our village. Then again, he could have just been showing me how much better he was than me.
Once, when it was very late, Addo and I were sitting alone outside of the children's hut. We sat on opposite sides of the fire pit, and I stared at the ashes as they blew away. I watched one ash in particular, a large one, as it rose off the ground and sailed away. When I looked back at the fire, Addo was staring at the ashes too. He looked up suddenly and said, "Do you wanna hear a story?" I wrinkled my eyebrows, "About what?" I asked in suspicion. "My necklace," he replied. I rolled my eyes, "No. But you're going to tell me anyway." He grinned, "Yes. But don't worry, you'll like this one."
"Oh really? Will I like it as much as I liked about the one where you killed a lion with your bare hands and took that tooth from its mouth?" I asked sarcastically. I put my hand up in the air as I leaned back against the rock I was sitting in front of. "That was one of my personal favorites," I said. "No. You will like this one," he said. "How can you be so sure?" I asked. "I liked it when it was told to me," he said. I sat up straight, "What do you mean 'when it was told to you'? You always make up these stories as you go along." He grinned and leaned forward, "Do you want to hear the REAL story?" he asked. My eyes widened, "You mean the REAL real story? The ACTUAL story?" He nodded, "There was a boy. Not much older than me, probably a few years difference. He was very strong and handsome. All of the girls in his village loved him." I rolled my eyes. "No, just wait. You'll like it," he said. He continued, "One day, a girl came to his village. She was different than all of the other girls. Her eyes were as blue as the sky. Her entire body, except her face, was covered in scars. She had been sent to the village by a king. They said that she had been assigned to help the king, but she was blamed of witch craft. When people asked why she was covered in scars, no one could answer. However, they had heard one thing that was related to them: they said that the reason her face had no scars was because whoever whipped her did not have it in him to scratch a face of such innocence and beauty." I sat forward as Addo went on. He was right, I did like this story. "Of course, at first, all the boys in the village were taken away by her beauty. But when they heard of her witch craft and how she had cursed the king himself, they all became frightened of her. They made fun of her, calling her names and mocking her wounds. But the boy, the one from the beginning, he never made fun of her. He watched her from a distance as she sat by the water and stared at her scarred reflection for countless hours. Then eventually, some warriors that worked for the king came to their village. They told the chief that the king had requested of them to come and slaughter the girl. They said that the king was frightened of the curse that had been put onto him, and he thought that the only way to rid himself of the curse was to have the witch who put the curse on him killed. The boy overheard the warriors' conversation with the chief, and he immediately hurried over to the watering hole. He found the girl there and grabbed her hand. 'Ababuo,' he said to the girl, 'quick! We must get away!'"
"Ababuo! Like our elder!" I said. He nodded and went on, "'What? Why? Where are we going?' she asked. The boy grabbed Ababuo's hand and pulled her up. She was very weak. She could not keep up with him as he ran. He quickly scooped her up into his arms. He had expected that this would slow him down, but she was so light! Strangely, he ran twice as fast when she was in his arms! He ran and ran until he had no energy left at all. They ended up in a jungle, in an oasis. 'Why did you do this for me?' she asked him. 'Because...' he said, 'I love you.'" Addo smiled as I caught my breath. "And that is the story," he said. I put on a confused expression, "But that does not explain the lion tooth at all!" He laughed, "Its not about the tooth. But if you must know, the tooth was in a pouch that Ababuo kept around her neck."
"So then how did you get it?"
"Ababuo gave it to me."
"Why?"
"Uh...she said that I might need it. For 'that girl'," he replied. "Who's 'that girl'?" I asked. He blushed, "Umm...you know...the person I marry."
"Oh. I see."
Mother once told me that I was destined to marry Addo, and I screamed and asked her if she was serious. She laughed and said, "I did not mean that his father and I have set you up together. I meant that someday you two will fall in love and marry each other because you want to." I faked throwing up, and she laughed.
I got out of the water and went into the children's hut to dry myself. Addo came in and laughed at my wet appearance. "You will never find a husband with that face," he said. I spit toward his feet and went back to drying my face. I finished and threw my towel to the ground. When I looked up, I found Addo staring at me. "What?" I said. He blinked, "Uh...nothing," he said. Sometimes he seemed to drain out the whole world and see nothing but me. I stared into his rare blue eyes and he blushed. He flipped his short black hair away from his eyes and I wondered if he was related to Ababuo. "Uh...I'm gonna go tend to the cattle," he said. I nodded and left the hut to go help the fourth wife of my stepfather to pick the millet from our fields.
"You are coming near the age of marriage, Nhamo," she said, "The boys in our village will now be allowed to request of you." I nodded, "I know, Elder," I said. She laughed, "That boy of the fifth wife- Addo I think," she started. "Yes, it is Addo," I said. "Yes, Addo then," she continued, "he better speak up soon before one of my sons asks for you. Every boy in the village is trying to get their courage up to request you, you know that Nhamo?" I raised on of my eyebrows. I dismissed what she had said about the rest of the boys in the village and simply said, "Ha! Addo loathes me." Elder looked at me and then suddenly broke out laughing. "What is so funny?" I asked. "Addo does not loath you child! Have you no sense? No eyes? No ears? Child, he watches you like you are an expensive pearl! He considers you his own. When you first came to this village, that boy tugged on his mama's hair and asked, 'Mama, why is there a goddess here?' Nhamo, he has had a claim on you since the day he first saw you. That is the main reason none of the other boys have requested you yet. They are afraid he will slaughter them for stealing his girl!" She laughed and murmured to herself, "Loathes her. Oh, that will never get old," as she picked millets from the ground. I looked over at the cattle pen and saw Addo bringing the cattle over to the covered pen because of the rains. He was so tall and muscled. He flipped his hair again. I looked over at the chicken pen, the goat pen, and the calf pen and saw almost all of the boys of the village staring at me. Most looked back at the animals they were tending when they saw me looking, but one particularly brave boy looked over at Addo in the cattle pen, and then back at me. Then he went back to his work. I looked over at my mother's section and saw her walk out of her circular, clay-made thatch roofed hut and walk over to the sixth wife who stood washing her clothes in the waterhole. My stepfather had seven wives,which meant he was very wealthy, because a man's wealth was measured by his number of wives. He was also very wealthy because of the great quality of our crops.
That night, I watched as everyone went into their sleeping huts. I went into mine also, and then waited for everyone to fall asleep. Once they were fast asleep, I snuck outside. I walked over to the watering hole. I smelled smoke from my mother's indoor kitchen. The dust covered my feet and legs so that I felt filthy. The night was warm and so I dove into the cool water. I pulled myself down to the bottom of the water and grabbed handfuls of the soft mud on the water floor. I sprung back to the top and out the mud on my body, because my mother had told me that this mud made my skin smooth. I heard someone walking up and his under the water. I swam to the darkest corner of the waterhole and put only the top of my head out of the water so that I could see who was coming. Addo walked up to the water and stuck his toes in the water. "Addo!" I hissed. Addo looked up with a surprised expression on his face. His expression changed then to one of suspicion. "Who goes there?" he asked. I decided to take advantage of my invisibility. I thought of the boy in the village who seemed the most interested in me. "It is only Jabari," I said. Addo relaxed and inquired, "What are you doing out here Jabari?" I smiled. Addo actually believed I was Jabari. Now I could get all the information I wanted. "I could ask you the same thing," I retorted. He rolled his eyes, "Well, I'll just be going then."
"Wait! Addo! I want to ask you something." Addo looked in my direction, silent, waiting. "I wanted to know if you were planning on asking for Nhamo. If not, I think I shall ask." Addo practically growled, and I worked to hold back a laugh. "We have discussed this Jabari," he said. They had? So Jabari really did want me. Interesting. "Just answer me Addo." Addo sighed, "Yes Jabari, I am planning on asking for her. Do you not remember the day she arrived? As soon as I knew she was human, I asked to have her as my own. My mother told me that once I was old enough, I could ask for her. I replied to her,'She will be mine.'" I smiled. So Addo really did want me. I dove back under the water and swam as close to Addo as I could without surfacing. I stuck my head out of the water and looked up at him. He looked down at me and gasped. "You did?" I asked. He blushed so red, he looked as if he had just fried in a fire. "Uhh..." he started. He looked down and saw me smiling. He smiled too, "Yea." I laughed. "Did you know I thought you were some strong warrior sent from heaven when I first saw you?" I asked. He beamed, "No," he said happily. I smiled wider. "I did," I said. He smiled widely and put his hand out to me. He pulled me out of the water. "Will you be my wife?" he asked. I smiled, "The first of many," I said. He shook his head. "No," he said, "only you." I raised an eyebrow. "But you will be very poor with just me," I said. He smiled, "I will be the richest man in the world with you." I smiled widely as he pressed his lips to mine and intertwined his fingers with mine.
© 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Quote: love

"No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as love?"- Albert Einstein

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Ironic, Isn't It?

Hawk     Auditions...sigh.

I walked into the school and headed for my first class. Well, actually... I ran to school. As I always did. It happened the same way every morning. My parents would wake up and feed Charlotta, completely forgetting to wake me. (Charlotta is my baby sister. She’s ten months old.) So, as always, I jumped out of bed at like, seven thirty, yelled down to the kitchen that they forgot to wake me up again, (adding an, “ON THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE!!!” today,) then I threw on some clothes, grabbed an apple, and ran out the door, forgetting to say bye. I ran down the street, up “The Dreaded Hill”, (that’s what my friend Carlisle used to call it, until he moved all the way to LA,) and then took a short cut through the elementary school to get to my first class. Ms. Darson, my choir teacher, always blows up at me for being “Tardy AGAIN! Will the madness never stop! Mr. Cooper, you are pressing my patience.”, and then she would go on with the class like nothing even happened. I don’t understand that woman. Today though, was slightly different, because today, she threatened what she knew was my one hope and dream, to solo in the Choir concert. “Mr. Cooper, if you were really serious about soloing in the Choir concert, then you wouldn’t be late on such an IMPORTANT day! You almost missed Jaymie’s audition! Now would you PLEASE have a seat so we can get on with this.” 
Jaymie. Jaymie was here. Ooooohhh man. My stage fright was already the worst in the world. I did NOT need HER to be there and make it even worse. 
I have nothing against Jaymie, actually, it’s quite the opposite. That’s the problem. I am madly and insanely in love with Jaymie, though I’m certain she has no idea I exist, other than knowing me as “the late kid”, like everybody else. In fact, I’m fairly sure that NOBODY at this school knows me as anything else. I have no friends... I used to have Carlisle, until his mom decided that she wanted to go into the acting business and they had to move to LA. She’s playing Esme in the movie Twilight. Ironic, isn’t it? Well, that is if you’ve read Twilight you know it’s ironic... I’m pretty sure I’m the only boy in the school who likes, or has read for that matter, the book, but I can really relate to Edward, well... not really but- My thoughts were cut off by the sound of Jaymie singing. Her voice was like that of an angel. She was singing the song Love Story by Taylor Swift, her favorite musician/singer. (I had overheard... or well, I had been eavesdropping when I heard her mention that.) “Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run, you’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess, its a 
love story baby just say yes.” Was I imagining it? Was she looking at ME 
while she sang these words? I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them again, only to find her staring still into my eyes, her cheeks reddening as she suddenly looked away, staring directly at the wall. I must have been hallucinating. True, when I first came here, a lot of girls had been interested in me. They had all thought I was attractive, I suppose. But they grew tired of me when I had stated that I didn’t date. I could have fairly well been one of the “popular” kids if I had liked, but that statement had kicked me right off the social ladder. Not even on the bottom of the ladder, but completely off the ladder, where the janitors don’t see you and accidentally throw you away. (I had heard that strange metaphor in a book once, I cant’ remember what it was called... oh well.) Once again, my thoughts had taken off with me, and I was caught by surprise when Ms. Darson called me up, announcing that I would be singing Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings. Ironic isn’t it? Jaymie’s song was also a Romeo and Juliet song. Except her song was from Juliet’s point of view, and mine was from Romeo’s...hmm... ironic.
And they were both asking the other to run away with them... wow. VERY ironic. “Lace up your shoes, Eh Oh Eh Oh, Here’s how we do: Run, baby, run, don’t ever look back, they’ll tear us apart if, you give them the chance. Don’t sell your heart, don’t say, we’re not meant to be. Run, baby, run! Forever will be, you and me. You and me. You and me.” By the end of the song, I felt myself staring at Jaymie, happy at first, at her shocked/impressed expression, then EXTREMELY embarrassed when she started trying to hold back a laugh. Fate was out to get me. 



















          Jaymie   Ironic, isn’t it?

I found myself holding back a laugh as he stared at me. Fate was seriously messing with my mind. His face turned turnip red, and I felt a pang of guilt, but I couldn’t help myself. It was just TOO ironic. The night before, I had dreamed that almost this exact thing would happen. Well, I had also had the dream when I was in like, third grade. I had dreamed that I would be desperately in love with someone. Or at least, I would think that I was. Then, there would be auditions. (For the Choir concert.) A boy would get up there and sing that song, Check Yes Juliet, (funny, that song hadn’t even existed when I had that dream in third grade... dang I could have made a lot of money off of that!) and I would fall madly in love with this boy, even more than I had been in love with the other boy. Until this day, I had always expected that Hawk would be the boy from before the auditions, but, as it turns out, he’s BOTH!! Oh boy. Of course, I don’t know why I hadn’t figure this out. Most of the dreams I had came true, but they were always a little off. Like the time that I dreamt Ellen would fall off her horse and break her leg. I went to the side of the horse she had fallen off of in my dream to catch her, but she ended up falling off the other side and breaking her arm, not her leg. I don’t know why I was so certain that this particular dream would happen exactly the way I had dreamt it. It never worked that way. Wow. That’s ironic. 
When I was younger, I told my best friend Lucy about the dreams I had and how they always ended up coming true, but not exactly the way I dreamed them. She said I needed to get my head checked. That night, I dreamed about Lucy. Lucy was laying on her kitchen floor and her head was bleeding insanely. Blood was dripping off of the corner of the counter next to her. I was standing over her and calling 911. The ambulance came and saved her. The next day I told Lucy about my dream and asked if I could come over so that I could call the ambulance when she got injured. She backed away from me and asked if I had watched a horror movie before I went to bed. When I told her I hadn’t, she said I absolutely could NOT come over to her house that afternoon. The next day, Lucy didn’t show up at school. I called her home and her mother said that Lucy was in the hospital. When I asked why Lucy was in the hospital, Lucy’s mother told me that Lucy had hit her head on the corner of a table and she hadn’t been discovered until at least an hour later when her sister got home, and by then the injury had was very bad and she had lost a lot of blood. When Lucy did come back to school, she avoided me and once in a while shot me frightened glances, switching schools after a while. That’s when I decided not to tell anybody about my little “gift”. 

© 2009

Dear readers of my blog,

Just so you know, I wrote this entry quite a while ago, so it is probably a little bit less...shall we say 'sophisticated' than the rest of my entries. I wrote it right after I read the novel Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. This story was originally going to be very similar to that story, but I decided not to continue it because I didn't want my book to be a less professional and less amazing rewrite of Twilight. Thanks for reading my blog!

Sincerely,
Sienna




I Hate You. Really? I Love You. part 3

This story is dedicated to Chelsea Thompson, my amazing older sister! Happy eighteenth Chelsea! I love you!

I walked over to a table with Jonathon. I sat there staring into space and remembering my time with Kellan. Not the most enjoyable year of my life. Actually, the least enjoyable year of my life. Definitely.
"I love you Krisstin."
"I...I know."
"I will always love you."
"I don't think so."
"Well you're wrong."
"...umm...ok."
A typical conversation between Kellan and I while we were dating. Awkward. Unrealistic. Unenjoyable. Annoying. I could go on, but I won't. Kellan was always telling me that he loved me. The thing is, I never really believed him. He told me he loved me and he took me to nice restaurants and bought me expensive things, but there was always a part of me that knew that he didn't really love me. He liked me, but he didn't love me. He was always hurt when I said that I didn't believe that he loved me, so I eventually gave up and let him think what he wanted. Another thing I secretly always knew was that I didn't love him either. I liked him, but I didn't love him. But I told myself that I loved him. I told him that I loved him. But as you know, I have never really been in love. 
Kellan and I's relationship ended...harshly. It wasn't like I didn't see it coming, but it still hurt me. Now, looking back on it, I don't understand why I was hurt by it. I would think that I would have been relieved that it was over. But I wasn't. 
One night, Kellan took me to an especially nice restaurant. I thought he was going to be dumb and do something drastic and unrealistic, like proposing or inviting me to Paris with him. I embraced myself for the worst. But when he told me what he was planning, I was shocked. Utterly shocked, and crushed, and not ready. I was caught totally off guard. He said to me, "Krisstin...every time I tell you I love you, you refuse me. You don't believe me. You don't trust me. And...and I've met someone who does trust me. And who believes that I love her, which I do." Then out comes this totally gorgeous and snobby looking girl who obviously doesn't like Kellan for his heart, and he obviously doesn't like her for hers. He puts his arm around her and they share this disgusting kiss. I literally stood up and walked away before he could say anything else. I was devistated, and totally grossed out. That's when I started telling myself that I hated Kellan. But as you know, I've never really hated anyone.

© 2009

My Life: If I was in Charge part 2

Music is my influence...my life. I swear, one time, during one of the most amazing moments of my life, I did something involved with music that I will regret for the rest of my life.  It was the homecoming dance at my old school. THE Robert Jenkins had asked me to the dance. We were slow dancing to the one slow song that was played the whole time, when suddenly, I did it. The song that was playing was sung horribly. Although I was trying to cherish the moment, the music was slightly ruining it for me. So as he spun me around, I made the mistake: I put my iPod headphones in so that the song "Love Remains the Same" could replace the crud that was playing. He was furious! He thought I was trying to distract myself because I hated slow dancing or something. I never won him back, and then I switched schools. I have made some pretty bad decisions because of music, but that was probably one of the worst. When I tried to explain to Robert why I had done it, he told me that the song that had been playing was his favorite song. Perfect, right? 

Mandy always had headphones in her ears. I'm not even kidding: always. I've recently noticed that rather than taking her headphones out when she enters the classroom, she just takes one out and hides the other one in her long, thick hair. Then she tucks her iPod into her jacket pocket. I would never be able to focus in class and listen to music at the same time...but apparently she can. 
Why is it that every time I turn around, I see the color blue? Seriously, why blue?

© 2009