Tyler pulled up to my driveway in his little black car. I laughed as I saw his outfit. He had a neon striped sweat band on his head, a white shirt, tube socks, neon sunglasses and shorts, and tennis shoes. "Angela!" he called, as if there were other people there and it was actually necessary to call me out. I looked around pretending I couldn't find him. He got out of his car and waved his hands wildly, "ANG! OVER HERE!" he called. I looked past him toward the trees. "No, no! Right here!" he said. I laughed and looked at him, "There you are!" I said. "Nice outfit," he replied. I laughed, "Hey, this was your idea-" I started to say. He put his hands up, "Total respect! The eighty's were da' bomb, man!" I laughed, "As if you were alive then."
"Naw," he said with a shrug, "But my family carried over. We kept the eighty's goin' all the way
'til '03!"
"What happened at '03?" I asked with casual curiosity as I climbed into the passenger seat. He furrowed his brow, "A lot of things." He had a look on his face that I had never seen before. It was an expression of confusion and anger. Not just confusion like he didn't understand what someone had said. Confusion that appeared to have been caused by some ancient inner battle that had never ended. A battle where both sides had surrendered, and no one ever found out who had won. I didn't ask more, worried that I had struck a chord a bit too personal, but he continued. "My parents divorced," he said. I felt hugely guilty for having brought it up. I was about to say how sorry I was, but I didn't get the chance. I'm sure I got the most shocked expression that was humanly possible when I heard what he said next. "I was twelve when it happened. I didn't understand it. My family didn't believe in divorce. They disapproved of it as much as some people nowadays disapprove of abortion. They were also deeply in love. They went on dates every weekend. They always grossed me out by being all 'mushy gushy' and cliche. Then one day when my parents are both at work and my grandma is over watching me until they get home, she pops the big news. She told me that my sister and I were going to move in with her. When I asked her why the heck we would do that, she told me that my parents were getting divorced. And as if that wasn't enough, she also told that my sister and I had to live with her because the child care services did not approve of us living with either of my parents. I went into complete, utter shock. The weekend before she told me this, my parents had gone to the movies. They had a great time, and they were totally in love. And you know how when a kid's parents get divorced, the kid almost always automatically blames themselves? I had good reason to blame myself. I found out that the reason my parents were divorcing was because they had found out that child care services were refusing that Milly and I live with either of them, and they blamed that on each other. They were so furious about this that they broke their strict no-divorcing code and split. I went into a deep depression. My parents both moved as far away from each other as possible, and I ended up never getting to visit them. I haven't seen either of them in five years. My depression got worse and worse, and I even considered suicide." I couldn't believe my ears. Tyler, the most happy-go-lucky person I had ever met, was telling me that he had considered depression in his not-so-distant past. "But..." I started to say, "what happened? You're...you're so happy! You cheer up everyone you meet! How can that be true?" He smiled, "That's the good part! My grandma was one of those super religious people. You know, the ones stereotyped as 'Jesus Freaks'. She made me go to church every sunday. I hated that place. Honestly, I had this deep horrible hatred for that place and everyone in it. I hated the way everyone there was so happy. I hated how they talked about how God had changed their lives. I hated their phony smiles and their freakish innocence. I hated the fact that every single kid I knew that went there had two parents who loved them. I hated how they told me that if I accepted Jesus, I could have a heavenly father. I told them that my first experience with a father had ended horribly and I didn't want another one. But there was one thing that I hated more than anything in the world. More than the child care services, more than divorce." He laughed half heartedly as he went on, "And her name was Scarlett. Scarlett May. She went to my school, she went to my church, and she lived directly next to my grandmother's house. My grandma, of course, thought she was totally adorable and a complete angel, so she invited her over to play with me all the time. I swear, all the girl ever wanted to do was preach to me! She started off easy, and then she started bringing over her bible and her devotional. She even bought me a bible. Its not like I didn't think it was nice that she cared about me so much, but I felt that I got just about as much preaching as I could take. Like I said, I hated everything about church. I didn't want to know about God or Jesus. So Scarlett was my worst nightmare. But that all changed when my grandma sent me to summer camp. When I first got there, I thought I was going to have the most miserable week of my life. Everybody there knew each other and was laughing and smiling and jumping and screaming. The only person I knew was Scarlett. There was a lake with a zip-line and an extremely high diving board. There were tons of cabins and a chapel and a ropes course and a pool. It was every kid's dream. But not mine. It looked like a big ol' torcher chamber to me. I went to my cabin and spoke to no one as all the guys talked and screamed and threw clothes at each other. I sat next to my bed and took as long as humanly possible to unpack all my clothes and put them into my drawer. Some guys tried to be friendly and talk to me, but I kept to myself. When my counselor told me that the whole camp was going to be sharing testimonies that night, I rolled my eyes and expected the worst. But when I sat down on the round outdoor staircase, I was shocked. People there had stories that were more depressing than mine. But they had all been transformed by God. I was paying complete attention by the time they got to Scarlett. I rolled my eyes and expected her to tell a story about a pet dying or something. But when she spoke, I was caught totally off guard. I found out that when she was ten years old, she had been in a terrible car accident and she had watched as her little brother died in her arms before the ambulance could get there. Her parents had died too, and she was left an orphan with no relatives since her parents were both only children and her grandparents had died before she was born. I was confused, just like you were when I told you my story. How could she be so happy? I found out exactly what had happened: she had found God. Her adopted parents had brought her to church and read the bible with her everyday. She said that God had spoken to her one day. By now, you can imagine, I was totally engrossed in her story. But I was once again caught off guard when she looked directly at me and said that God had told her to talk to the boy who had moved in next door. She said that God had assigned her to be his teacher. To bring him to Jesus. I knew that she was talking about me. And she accomplished her goal. She brought me to Jesus. And it was a slow process, but eventually I came out of my shell, with God's help, and became who I am today." I could not believe this. Tyler was a Christian. Tyler's whole life had been changed by becoming a Christian. I thought for a moment. Was I a Christian?
© 2009
No comments:
Post a Comment