I dialed my sister's old cell phone number into the landline. Tears welled up in my eyes as I heard my sister's voice on the message machine. "Hello?" she said. There was a pause and then she said, "Um, actually this isn't Dustin. Its her friend. Dustin's at the grocery store right now. Can I take a message?" Then it beeped. It wasn't the first time I had called her cell just to hear her voice, but it was the first time that I left a message. "Umm..." I started to say through tears and sniffles. "Hi Dusty...its me. I miss you...I miss you a lot Dusty. I wish...I wish you were here. A lot's been happening. I met this guy..." I half laughed as I imagined what my sister's reaction would be to that. "He's really sweet. And cute. You'd like him. ...so...I've been thinking a lot about...Christianity. I remember you always telling me about it...I'm thinking about...um...looking into it. Anyway...I miss you. I love you," and then, just to add drama to the moment, (no, not literally,) I said, "call me back." I hung up the phone, put my head down in between my knees, and just allowed myself to cry for a while. I didn't understand why I couldn't move on with my life. Most people would be over grieving by now. My parents were on vacation, trying to distract themselves. My brother was of course still sad, but he didn't have these dramatic little weeping sessions or random flashbacks all the time. (Well, as far as I know.) Why couldn't I just deal with it? I always asked myself that, but really, deep down, I knew the answer. It was because I didn't know where she was. I wasn't sure if I believed in God and heaven. That's one of the main reasons I decided to look into Christianity. I needed to know that she was safe.
Tyler came to pick me up again the next morning. "Morning, sunshine!" he said as I walked up with a yellow swoop neck t-shirt and jeans. "Morning yourself," I said with a smile. Of course I was still sad about my sister, but just being in the presence of Tyler made me happier. He just glowed with this overwhelming happiness. Tyler opened the door for me and I said, "Hey...wait a second...its Saturday." I turned to him and he nodded and said, "Your point?" I put on a confused expression, "Why are you picking me up?" He smiled, "We're going adventuring!" I shrugged, "Ok."
Tyler took me to a little campground surrounded by trees in the middle of the mountains. "Come see this," he said as he walked with me past the empty campground and into the trees. He brought me down an unmarked trail for quite a while, and then suddenly we were on the shore of a large pond. It was beautiful! "Wanna swim?" he asked with a smile. I laughed, "Maybe later. Lets just put our feet in for now."
"Wait," he said, "it gets better." He walked over to a huge tree with an extremely thick trunk. He went around to the other side of the tree and I followed him. The tree was hollow and a small raft stuck out of the opening. Tyler smiled at my wide eyes. "My sister and my dad and I used to come here and float around on this raft in the pond," he said longingly. I could tell he missed his dad. "Do you want to..." I started to ask, staring at the raft. He smiled and nodded.
Before I knew it, Tyler and I were laying down on the raft facing each other and telling funny childhood stories. "My sister and I used to sit in that treehouse you saw for hours just staring at the Orlando Bloom poster we put up on the ceiling and talking about how beautiful he is," I said with a laugh. He smiled, "I didn't know you had a sister. Is she on vacation with your parents?" My smile faded, but I tried to compose my face. "She doesn't live...in the house anymore." His eyebrows rose. "Forget I asked," he said. I nodded. He told me more stories about his crazy hippie family and their life on the road in their hippie van/trailer. I laughed so much! I was so happy. He was laying on his back the whole time he was talking and I was laying on my side, facing him, and watching his funny hand motions. He stopped talking for a minute. I watched as he brushed his hand through his hair. It took my breath away. Then he turned onto his side, facing me, and smiled. My heart stopped. I had the sudden urge to say 'I love you'. And I would have, too, if it hadn't been for the fact that he suddenly rolled off the raft and into the water, clothes and all. I laughed histerically. "Come on in, the water's nice!" he said with a laugh. I smiled and cannon balled into the water. "That's the spirit!" he said as we bobbed in the water, laughing. Hair was all over my face and Tyler reached over and pushed some of it away from my eyes. Something in me told me to run away. Something in me told me I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Something else told me that I was being stupid. That I was falling in love with this guy, and I needed to let him in. Luckily, I didn't have to make a decision right then and there, 'cause Tyler dove under the water and sprung up on the other side of the pond. I laughed and swam over to him. We raced back and forth across the pond until we were completely exhausted, and then we got out and he took me home. It was the most amazing day, other than the day of the dance, that I had had since my sister's death. And I made a decision.
© 2009
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