Luther was grinning like a loser when I woke up the next day on the bus as we drove on to Idaho where we would be playing before heading down to Nevada to play in Vegas. "So," he said as Joel exited the bathroom and I fell down onto a couch, rubbing at my eyes, "Joel really hit it off last night with Kristin." I blinked and looked up, my eyes wide, as I said, "Huh?" Luther grinned wider, "Joel danced with your cousin all night. Where were you?" I took in a quick breath, remembering the night before, and said, "Oh, you know. Dancing my heart out." Luther laughed, "Well, you missed it. I think our little boy is in love." Joel rolled his eyes, threw a couch cushion at Luther, and flopped down next to me. I glanced at him, "So you liked her?" I asked casually. "Are you kidding?" Luther asked, "She's even hotter in person!" I couldn't help but blush as Kevin rolled his head back and groaned, "Luther. He was talking to Joel." Luther laughed and I tried to look thoroughly disgusted as I said, "You do remember that she's actually related to me, right?" Luther grinned and threw the cushion back at me, and I stood up before throwing it on him again and going to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
For whatever reason, Kassy honestly thought the story was taken care of when it stopped being talked about after a few weeks. But then, of course, just as I was about to think that maybe she was right, and I should just calm down, it came back, full force, worse than before. "If Jackson and his cousin are so close, why is it that they're only spotted apart?" the article Luther was now reading said. It didn't have any new pictures, as I had been super careful not be spotted as Kristin lately, but past pictures did surface, and of course there were none of us together, only me going in one place and her coming out of the came place, or the other way around. I wrinkled my eyebrows, "We were both at that club. Geez, the media comes up with the craziest crap." Luther rose an eyebrow at me, "It is kind of weird, though," he said, "I haven't ever seen you guys together. I mean, sure, you guys were both at the club-but I never talked to both of you at the same time. I brought my eyebrows down farther, looking at the ground, and Kevin said, "Yea, and it is kind of weird how we never noticed her before." They were all staring at me now, except Joel, who, like me, was staring down at the ground. Except his eyes weren't narrowed, as they seemed to be often now, but instead his face was sort of blank. I bit my lip but didn't look up, didn't meet their eyes, didn't say anything in response. "It's only going to get worse," Jeanette had said, and of course she was right.
"I think," Kassy said, biting her lip as we talked over video chat as I sat alone at a booth in a cafe while the guys sat at the bar, "I think..." she closed her eyes, biting harder down on her lip. She opened her eyes suddenly and said, "I think we need to tell them." I widened my eyes, and I could feel nothing but utter, complete shock. "Them?" I said, "I... you... you mean the guys?" She smiled slightly and shook her head, "No. I mean... the world." I just blinked at her. She sighed, "We knew this was going to come some time. It's a pity it's coming so soon, but we couldn't have predicted that someone would leak the secret." She shrugged again, "I mean, I figured they would figure it our eventually... but I never thought someone would deliberately tell them." I was still feeling nothing but shock. No remorse, no panic, no relief- just shock. She shrugged again, "Anyway, we should tell them before this person does. It will just be better that we do it first, like breaking up with a guy before they get the chance to dump you." I nodded my head and she said, "Do you want me to do it? Or schedule-" I shook my head, "No," I said, a plan forming itself in my head despite the shock that was cutting off all emotion, "I have a plan." I met her eyes now, "I have to do this myself." She nodded, "Well, alright. Do it soon, though." I nodded, "Of course."
I sat in the bus, tapping my pencil over my notepad and trying to think of the right lyrics. Joel came over and sat next to me as Kevin and Luther argued over something in a magazine on the other couch. "What are you doing?" he asked me. I looked up at him, "Oh, um... writing a new song." He rose an eyebrow, "Oh." I looked back down at the paper and then up at him again and asked, "How..." I paused and looked back at the paper, and then back up at him, "Say you were confessing something. Like, to a girl, per say. How..." I bit my lip and stopped myself, looking back down at my notepad. He kept his eyes on me as he said, "I would tell her that I don't really want to confess to her," he looked off into the distance, furrowing his eyebrow, "I would tell her that I don't want to... but....I have to." I just stared at him for a moment, and then he looked back at me. He laughed, "Sorry. That probably wasn't very helpful." I blinked, "Actually," I said, looking back down at the paper, "I think you just completed the song." He grinned, "Yea?" I nodded, "Yea." He smiled, "Awesome," and got up, moving back to the arm chair. I stared at the paper for another moment before picking up my pencil and writing the rest of the lyrics, adding the title "I Have To" to the top.
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