Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 61

"Angela!" I screamed as I pushed my way through the crowd, "Angela! Wait!" I made my way through the crowd and came out on the other side, near the exit. I looked around and saw the back of Angela's head, her black hair on her red dress. I started to scream her name when I saw that she was with a guy. He nodded and put his arm around the small of her back, which the dress was cut to reveal, bringing her towards the hotel doors. I watched as he escorted her to his truck, opened the passenger side door for her, and walked around to the driver's side. He pulled out and she turned, looking back at the hotel. I caught her eye for half a second and she opened her mouth, her eyes widening. And then she was gone. I turned just as Selena came up to me, "Oh! Did Sean take Angie already? Dang it. I thought she agreed to stay another hour!" She sighed. "That's Sean?" I asked looking after where Angela had just disappeared. "Yup. He's really cool, you should meet him." Selena smiled at me and then disappeared in the crowd again.

“So, you really thought it was that bad?” Sean asked with a chuckle, shooting a glance at me as we drove away from the hotel. I swallowed and turned to him. So what if Tyler had seen me drive off with a guy? I saw him kissing a girl. And it’s not like were ever a couple or anything. Not really. I laughed half-heartedly, “It was making me sick to my stomach,” I told Sean. Half-true. I was sick to my stomach. But not because of the bad music and awkward dancing. “Well then,” Sean said, “where shall we go?” I wrinkled my nose, “Um. Where can we go in a ballroom dress and suit?” Sean grinned mischievously, “Vegas.” I laughed, “Oh, yea. Good idea. ‘Cause that’s so close by.” Sean smiled, “Seriously, though. Where should we go?”

We sat in my treehouse and I stared up through the holes in the roof at the millions of stars in the night sky. “This is cool,” Sean said, peeking at me. I smiled and nodded, “Yea. It was Dustin’s idea.” Sean smiled, “This does remind me of her.” I nodded, biting my bottom lip. I missed Dustin. So much. And lately, missing Tyler hadn’t been helping with the pain. Now, though- my stomach was twisted a million ways and my head was throbbing. I didn’t want to think about it. But it was impossible not to replay it in my head- that girl, whoever she was, looking so beautiful that I would have been jealous even if I hadn’t seen the kiss, just seeing him with her- pulling him towards herself, placing her lips on his and closing her eyes. And it didn’t just end. It wasn’t just a peck. I looked away, down, and when I looked back, his lips were still pressed to hers. Was this why we had only had one phone conversation in the entire time we had been apart? Was that why he hadn’t visited me? And what was with the expression I saw on his face when I drove off with Sean? What was that supposed to mean? “I have a new girlfriend now, but seeing you with someone other than myself makes me want you back.” I felt like slapping myself as all these things ran through my head. What right did I have to be mad at Tyler? He was probably never even interested in me. If he had been, he would have asked me out. And it wasn’t like he had the excuse of not asking out the girl whose sister just died. He didn’t even know about Dustin.

It was stupid to feel so betrayed. But I couldn’t help it. I sat in the treehouse long after Sean had left, staring up at the stars and floating somewhere between tears and complete shock. And then, as I looked away from the stars for a moment, looking out of the wall on the opposite side of me towards the trees, I saw her. Dustin lay next to me, her eyes closed, her iPod in her ears. She mouthed the lyrics of whatever she was listening to but didn’t say anything. For the first time, I didn’t see the me from the past sitting with her. I didn’t know why- maybe this was a memory from one of the many times I had been searching for her and found her laying here, her music too loud to hear my parents screaming her name into the trees. Whatever reason, it sped my pulse and sweat caked my forehead again. It felt like she was just there, laying next to me. Now, not then. Right now. I wanted to open my mouth, to ask her about Sean, why she hadn’t told me about him-and ask her what I should do about Tyler, because she would know exactly what to do. But instead I just sat there and watched her mouth along with her music until the memory faded and I came back to reality, looking back at the stars and leaving the in between, succumbing to tears.

© 2010