Our manager wanted us to milk the home-grown effect of Portland, so he had us stay a few more days to do more performances. It was nice to be so close to home, and Luther picked up his supposedly better-than-anywhere-else Pepsi. But on the day we were going to leave, as Luther made one last stop to get more Pepsi than would fit in our fridge, he came out holding a magazine, looking down at the cover. I rolled my eyes, expecting him to show us yet another article with us in it, like this was some new thing that we should all get excited about. Like he always did. But, instead, he stepped into the bus, closing the door behind him, and looked up at me, his eyes wide. He glanced at Joel and said, “Hey, you know how you said you don’t know another person in the world who carries a spoon around in their back pocket?” Joel nodded slowly, one eyebrow raised. Luther spun around the magazine, showing us the cover, and said, “Well, now you do.” It was a picture of me. Not me as Jackson, just me. An enormous, blown up and extremely blurry picture of me that was obviously taken from a distance. I was walking out of the hotel that we had been staying in when we were in LA. And there was a circle that showed a close up of what was in my back pocket: a spoon.
Luther turned the magazine back around and read the words under the picture, “JACKSON’S SECRET LOVER?” He rose an eyebrow at me and flipped open to the table of contents, then flipping to the page where the article about me was featured. He scanned the page and then read out loud, “A mysterious dark-haired woman was seen leaving the hotel that Jackson and his band were staying in during their stop in LA on their national tour. Says a source, “I saw her leaving Jackson’s floor. She looked like she was hiding something.” The girl was seen with Jackson’s signature spoon in her back pocket. You read it here first!” Luther looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. Kevin rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on, Luther. You know the press. That could have been any random girl leaving the hotel.” Luther looked at Kevin, an eyebrow still raised, “A random girl with a spoon in her back pocket?” Kevin glanced over at me. I tried to keep my face composed while at the same time looking surprised by the article. Kevin shrugged, “Maybe it was a setup.” Luther didn’t look convinced, but nobody asked me anything about it for the rest of the day.
I thought the article would be a one-time thing- that everybody would forget about it and move on. I figured the press wouldn’t be able to milk one picture for too long. But I was dead wrong. Two days after the first article, while we were still in Portland, Luther found another magazine with an article about the mystery girl. I expected it to say the same thing and have the same picture as the other magazine. But as he handed the magazine over to me, open to the article, I knew that something was up. There was a picture of me, from at least a month ago, leaving the recording studio Spoon used. The story only got juicier with this article. “The lead singer of Spoon was recently rumored to have a mystery girl leaving his hotel room in LA last week.” Room. Right. “The mystery girl was reportedly seen here five weeks ago, leaving Spoon’s recording studio after a recording session. The trick of the story? She was seen walking out of the studio and over to the dark green Ford Explorer owned by Aepatt’s girlfriend of three years, Jeanette Thatcher. Could she be a secret lover? Or is there something else going on here?” The picture shown with this article was as big as the other one, but it was barely blurry. You could see my face, though not well enough that you could really notice the resemblance between me and Jackson-unless you were standing next to me. Luther looked at me, “Ok. Time to ‘fess up. Who is this girl?” He was sort of grinning, like he thought it was funny that I had a secret lover. Like he actually believed that I did. I rolled my eyes, thinking quickly, “She’s my cousin.” Luther rose an eyebrow, “How come you didn’t tell us before?” I shrugged, “You know, privacy reasons. She doesn’t really want to get caught up in the fame crowd, you know.” Joel rose an eyebrow at me now, “I’ve never seen her before.” I blinked at him and quickly said, “Same reason.” Luther laughed, “A sneaky one, she is!” All the guys crowded around the picture now, curious to see what my cousin looked like. Joel looked up at me. His eyes weren’t wide. Or shocked. Just sort of blank and the tiniest bit narrowed as he said, “She looks a lot like you.” Luther studied the picture and concluded, “She’s hot.” I felt myself blush and was glad when Kevin said, “Um, nice, Luther. Joel says she looks a lot like Jackson and you say that she’s hot.” He smiled, “Trying to tell us something?” Luther punched Kevin in the shoulder and Joel studied the picture again as Kevin laughed. “She is, though,” Joel said, looking up at me again. Luther grinned widely, “See! I told you. Joel, who never ‘fesses to thinking even Megan Fox is hot, has observed the hotness of this chick.” He grinned up at me now, looking away from the picture, “Well. Now we understand what the girls of the nation are so obsessed over.” He laughed, “She’s like a Jackson Aepatt for guys!” Kevin snickered and I shook my head, “Um, you know, that is my cousin you’re talking about.” Luther laughed and punched me in the arm, “Aw, it’s Ok. My cousin recently married my best friend from high school.” He laughed again, “Maybe the same thing will happen to you.” He winked and I rolled my eyes and closed the magazine.
© 2010
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