Smiling For You

Side note:

If you are reading this, please read the entire thing before making judgements about it.

It was as if there was snow inside of my body...snow with a fire inside of it, a flourishing flame growing larger and larger so that I could still feel the chill of the snow but also the burning heat of the fire. It ate me from the inside out...it was as if there was nothing I could do to escape it. And my back, feeling as if it were permanently stooped over, sang a note in falsetto of pure pain, filling me with the undeniable truth that this...this thing, this...horrible, horrible thing...would be the end of me. Not only of me, but of everything I loved and cared about. And what I had forever wished to die would conquer what I had forever wished to triumph, creating a kingdom of nothing but opposite of my wildest dreams.

This is not a love story. It is not a tragic romance in which my Romeo runs off, leaving me in agony to tell you of how much the loss of his presence hurts. No, I am to tell you of real pain.

Death.

When reading, one hears pain and death and may often string them together as the death of a lover, depending on the author of the tale. But lose all your opinions of the author for this moment and just think of an ordinary tale by an ordinary person you have never heard of. What then comes to mind when the topic of death is introduced? Is it too dark, perhaps, for your taste? If it was a romance writer, it is to be known that the author would not dwell on the death half so much as the romance that caused the death to hurt. If it were a horror writer, death might be simply the flip of a page, after all, what good horror story ends with every character alive and well? None that I have heard of. If it was a comical author, one who always keeps the reader hurting in the sides, death would often be a surprising thing to introduce. How would it fit in? Would the story, perhaps, turn away from its comical path and veer of into depression? Or would the author simply use the death to introduce new characters or look further into old ones, who end up being a wheelbarrow of laughs? A nonfiction writer, now, would be entirely different from all the rest. Think of a biography: the death of the person the biography itself is about is only important as to the date. It would not speak of how sad the occasion was. If it spoke of any other deaths, perhaps those of loved ones of the person the biography was about, it would most likely mention the person’s mourning and perhaps tell of how it led them to the depression that caused them to do whatever made them important enough to have a biography written about them. All in all, death, when brought up, can bring many thoughts. Frightening thoughts, sad thoughts, perhaps happy thoughts. But I am to expect that your thoughts now will be surprised when you see what I am going to say next.

The death of a perfect stranger.

Perhaps someone you once saw when driving but had not a fleeting thought about. Perhaps someone who walked past you once in a grocery store, who you knew nothing of except that they bumped you. Or, perhaps, someone you have never seen and never will.

A baby is born everyday. A wedding takes place everyday. A birthday is celebrated everyday, and rescues happen everyday. But I might add that someone dies everyday. Divorce papers are signed everyday. A birthday is ignored everyday, and someone is not found everyday. It is not a good thing to think about, and so most try not to dwell on it. But perhaps we should think of the people out there who have no choice but to dwell on it. What if the person you didn’t smile at just lost their sister or brother? What if the person you honked at just found out that their child is deaf? What if the person you snickered at after they tripped hadn’t had time to tie their shoes because they had to get to the hospital while their mom was still breathing?

So smile at that person.

Be patient with that person.

Help that person get up.

And remember that they might be going through more than you think...and you could be the person to make their day. To stop their suicide. To encourage them to never give up. And then the next time you’re down, remember that I’m thinking of you and praying for you...and smiling for you.

© 2009