Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 95

"He wants to work in the loony bin?" Selena asked, her voice disbelieving. I grinned and nodded, though of course she couldn't see me, "Yea," I said, adjusting the phone on my shoulder as I rearranged the books in my bookcase, "Or help with kids at a school, you know. Something like that."

"Wow. Who knew Tyler was the saint, right?" She paused, "Well, other than you, of course." I laughed, "Yea, other than me." Selena sighed, "I'm bored out of my mind. We should go to a movie."

"Nothing good's out right now."

"Something good's always out. At least one movie is always relatively good."

"Not really in the mood for a relatively good movie, thanks."

"Fine," Selena consented with a sigh, "What do you want to do, Miss Sarcasm?" I thought about it, squeezing the last book in the case. "How about," I paused, "How about...Cheesecake Factory?" Selena considered this for a moment. "Alright. Fetuccini sounds pretty good right about now." I could practically hear her shrug, "Besides, I need a new jacket. That one place has those awesome faux leather ones, remember? It's in that mall, right?"

"I don't know. But pretty much all malls have a Factory. You could just look it up." Selena agreed, "Ok. I'll call you back in a minute, then. Call Tyler. And have him call Ed."

"He's with him right now, I think."

"Perfect."

"Flirt."

"Whatever. Call you in a few." Selena hung up and I dialed Tyler's cell. He picked up, and said he was already at the mall by the school, and that they'd meet us at the Factory in twenty minutes. Selena called back and agreed to come pick me up, and we left for the mall.

We walked around the mall after eating, Selena searching for the store which held her precious faux leather jackets. Tyler and I trailed slightly behind Selena and Ed, holding hands as I peered in store windows, looking at the cheesy summer displays. We walked past one store that sold all sorts of things for houses, and I looked at the heart-shaped window frame that leaned against the window of the store and bit my lip. "That is so adorable," Selena said, motioning towards the frame, "I wish my house had windows that were shaped cool. Or at least normally. I swear, my house feels like an institution. Selena nudged Tyler in the side, "Perfect place for you, Tyler, sweetheart." I grinned at this and looked away from the frame, over to Tyler's wincing face. "Angela," he said, "I will forever resent you for telling her about that." I laughed and kissed him on the cheek, "You'll get over it, in time."

© 2010

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 94

As Tyler drove us home that night, Jake listening to his iPod so loud it sounded loud to me, I turned to him and said, "What do you want to be when you grow up, Tyler?" Tyler laughed, "When I grow up."

"You know what I mean." He smiled and shook his head and then put a finger to his lip, as if pondering, "Hm," he said, "Well..." then he lost his joking face, putting his hand back on the steering wheel and acquiring an expression that told me he was really thinking about this. "I think I'd like to drive a garbage truck." I laughed and slapped his arm and he grinned widely, "What? Someone has to do it." I rolled my eyes, grinning and said, "Seriously, Tyler." He grinned at me, "Ok, Ok. I think I want to work with mentally disabled kids." I rose an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. Yet. He shot me a grin, "What?"

"Seriously?" He shrugged, "Well, yea. I've always had a soft spot for kids with autism. Maybe I'll work with an organization. Maybe I'll be an aid at a school. Maybe I'll work in a loony bin." He shrugged and said, "You know, I just want to help people. And I feel like that's the way I could do it." He smiled at me, "You do, too, you know. Educating 'tomorrow's leaders' and all that." I laughed and looked back out of the front window. "Wow, Tyler," I said, "You just keep getting better and better."

"I'm pretty great, not gonna lie." I laughed and smacked his arm again, and he smiled and took the hand I had slapped him with in his own.

"So Angela wants to be college professor," my mom said as I walked back in the door after driving Angela and Jake home. "Yup," I replied, walking into the living room and cleaning up the remains of the mess we had made. My mom turned off the water- she was rinsing the dishes- "Well," she said, "You guys better not have too many kids." I stared at her. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed after a moment. She grinned, "You know, with you working in the nut house and her making a teacher's salary. Actually, how much do nut house workers make?" She scrunched up her nose, "Maybe scratch that. For all I know, nut house workers are upper-class income makers." I stared at her, "Ok, first of all, professors make more than elementary teachers. Not all that much, but enough. Second, I don't know if I'm gonna work at the nut house. I might work at a school or something-"

"Teacher's salary number two."

"-and third of all, why would you simply assume that Angela and I are going to have kids?" I blushed, "Or, um, I mean, get married?" My mom smiled at me and turned the sink back on. Then, over the sound of the water, she said, "You'll get married. And have kids. In that order. And you'll work in the nut house." I bit my lip, "You don't know any of those things." She shook her head and sighed as she turned the water off again, done with the dishes. She dried her hands on the dish towel and came out of the kitchen, smiling (almost sadly) at me, "Oh, Tyler, dear," she said, "You simply must give more credit to a mother's intuition." She smiled at me, "Trust me, dear. I know those things."

© 2010

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 93

We ate on the floor, because the kitchen table was "still under reconstruction", in Linda's words. I had officially learned that Tyler's mom's name was Linda, and that she was music supervisor for commercials. So, that song that you loved in that commercial that was kind of lame but made better by the song? She chose that song. Lykke Li played softly over her speakers as we ate. We all talked and laughed as if we had been friends for years, and we were just having a reunion. Everything felt really comfortable, like I was as much a part of this family as Tyler was. "So what kind of job do you want, Angela?" Linda asked me. I smiled and shrugged, "I'm not sure. Maybe a teacher. I'd kind of like to be a college professor. I mean, I love kids, but I think I'd prefer to teach kids that can teach me, too. I mean, not that younger kids can't, but...I don't know. I feel like people are most influenced by their college professors. I'd like to be influential, you know?" Linda smiled and nodded and Tyler smiled at me, too, resting his chin in his fist. "Personally, I think my teacher that was my biggest influence was my kindergarden teacher. She was a real talent." I laughed, and Tyler shook his head with a little grin, but then Linda smiled and said, "But then again, I'm not really much help in that area, since I didn't go to college." I rose an eyebrow and cleared my throat, "So, um, what did you want to be when you were our age, Linda?" It was weird feeling so comfortable calling an adult by her first name, especially a woman who I'd really only known for about an hour. Linda laughed, "Oh, I'd never really planned any sort of plan for the future. I guess I'd just always kind of figured I'd die young, in some tragically beautiful way." She shook her head and smiled at me, but her smile fell, and I guessed my face must have gone blank. I felt like my body had just stopped- like all my organs had just shut down momentarily. Tyler looked over at me and then at his mom. I cleared my throat and replied quickly, before Tyler could start to wonder whether it was his place to tell his mom my secrets, "My sister passed away recently. Twin sister, so very young." Linda scrunched up her eyebrows, "Oh dear. I'm very sorry. How did she go?" I shook my head, "A baseball shattered our window. Her heart was impaled by the glass." Linda's eyes widened, "And what sort of girl was she?" I looked down at my plate, "Very energetic. Always happy. She wore a lot of bright colors." There was so much more I could say about her, so much more to her than this, but it seemed to me like this was what she would've wanted me to describe her to people as. "Ah," Linda said, "And what job did she want?" I looked up at her now. I hadn't exactly been expecting that question, to say the least. "Um," I said, and I couldn't help but smile as I remembered, "She used to tell me she wanted to be a street performer. Just dress up in a bunch of bizarre clothes, put a top hat on the sidewalk, and dance badly to 80's music. She said people would feel so bad for her that she's make a good profit." I laughed a bit. Dustin always did have a sense of humor. Linda smiled, "Well then," she said, "I am satisfied. It seems she went just the way she would have wanted to." I rose an eyebrow at her, "What?" Linda smiled and nodded, "She sounds like the kind of girl who would have wanted to go dramatically. And that story you've just told me, that's a very good one. She would have been pleased." I thought about that for a moment. Then I laughed a bit, "Yea," I said, "I guess you're right." Tyler leaned over to me while everyone else was caught up in conversation and said, "She did agree that dying would be an awfully big adventure, didn't she?" I smiled at him and nodded.

© 2010

Nibble part 25

Gabby had been sick Monday and Tuesday, but she was well as ever on Wednesday, and had been clued in by Lindsay on what had occurred- and what might have occurred. I cleared my throat when I found both of them standing by my locker as I walked up. They had their arms crossed over their chests, and their eyes were narrowed. They looked weird, both standing there, polar opposites in appearance, but standing in the same position. "Um, hey, guys," I nodded at them, blushing already. "She blushes!" Lindsay exclaimed, "That means something!" Gabby stuck out her hand to me and said, "Hello, ma'am, I'm Gabby, your best friend since third grade, along with this weird woman standing with me," she pointed to Lindsay, "The one you tell all your secrets to? The one who tells you all her secrets, even the deep, dark ones?" I laughed and shook my head, "Hey, Gabby."

"Would you like to tell me what's going on with Nick Angel?" I swallowed, "Oh, um, he got tackled by this gang. Really sucks."

"Sure does. Let me rephrase. Would you like to tell me what's going on with Nick Angel and you?" I blushed bright. "Ah," I cleared my throat, "I, uh, visited him at the hospital."

"I heard."

"So why do you ask?"

"Little Missy. Would you like to tell me what else is going on between you and Nick Angel? You better be real with me. I cannot stand lies, you know, even white ones."

"I know."

"So. Tell me." I sighed and turned to my locker, "I don't know," I said, "I just..." I paused, and started over, "We just-" started over again, "He-" then, right on cue, Nick walked up. "Hello, ladies," he said, and the usual chills ran down my spine like a roller coaster on its tracks. I coughed, choking on my words. "Good to see you again, Gabrielle. I hope you're feeling better." Gabby sniffed, "I should be saying that to you, Mr. I can't believe you got tackled in an alley and lived to tell the story." Nick laughed, "I'm glad about that." Gabby nodded, "I bet you are. We are, too."

"'Specially Remi," Lindsay put in, oh so graciously. I gave her my best dagger eyes. "So, Nick," Lindsay ventured, "How's your girlfriend doing?" I blushed like a strawberry and tried to figure out where I should look. Nick blinked, "Excuse me?" Lindsay grinned, "Your girlfriend. Don't you have a girlfriend who goes to another school?" Nick rose an eyebrow, "Um, not that I know of." Lindsay shrugged, "Oh, well, you know how rumors go." She smiled at him, and just as the silence began to feel awkward, she continued, "So, if you don't have a girlfriend, who do you think you'll take to prom?" Nick rose an eyebrow at her with a tiny half-grin, like he had figured out her plotting. I felt like letting out a sigh of relief- he wouldn't give me away. "Oh, I don't know," he said, "I don't usually go to school dances." Lindsay smiled, "Oh, but you have to go to your senior prom. So who shall you take?" He grinned wider, "I don't know, Lindsay. Would you care to go with me?" I held back a laugh as Lindsay blinked at him in surprise. "Wuh-I-" Nick interrupted her with a wave as he turned from us and said, "See you later, ladies."

© 2010

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 92

WIth Tyler and Milly constantly at our house, I wondered what their

mom did all day. I knew she had a job, but it was a stay-at-home job, and

having her kids gone all the time seemed to kind of defeat the purpose of getting

a stay-at-home job. And so I finally proposed that Jake and I go over to Tyler's

for once. I didn't want to invite myself, but Tyler showed up at our door at

random times and didn't seem to think his house was even an option, so I figured

it was time I spoke up. "Hey," I said as all of us stood around our kitchen counter,

eating chips and guacamole, "How about we go to your place today? I'd like to see

your new house. And I've never really formally met your mom." I had sort of met

Tyler's mom a couple of times in car drives and such, but we had never really

gotten to have an actual conversation. Not that Tyler had ever had a real

conversation with my parents, either- but his mom kind of seemed like the type

of person that I could have a conversation with. Tyler seemed to hesitate for a

moment at this idea, but then he agreed, "Yea, Ok. Sure."

Angela had already met my mom, and she must have been fine with her if she

wanted to "formally meet her". So I had nothing to worry about. Still, I was

worried. I couldn't help thinking about what Angela would have thought if she had

met her years ago, when she was just a teen- when she met my dad, when she had

me. Would she have blushed at her ragged appearance or coughed because of her

cigarette smoke? Would she have tried to keep a safe distance from her when she

was leaning against our van in a gas station, worrying that she might get

pick-pocketed? Of course, these were all things I shouldn't have been worrying

about. She wasn't that girl anymore, that teen smoking under the bleachers. But

yet, I still worried. Because I knew this woman better than almost anyone else,

excepting two other women, both of which would be with me this afternoon. I

knew this woman, and I knew that she really was still that girl. No matter how

much she tried to grow out of that stage, she would forever be that girl.

Tyler's mom opened the door and smiled widely at us. She had on a pair of

sweatpants that made it obvious that she had stick legs inside them, and a loose

dark green wide V-neck top that hung off one of her shoulders, revealing an

extremely accentuated collarbone. My collarbone was pretty dominant, when I

leaned forward just slightly there was practically a little miniature bowl right

there. But this woman's shoulders had deep bowls just standing straight, and the

collarbone itself looked like a tiny tree limb, it stuck out so much. She was small,

probably 5'2'', at least two inches shorter than me. Her hair was wild and messy

but somehow still looked soft. She had thick lips, the kind that you would swear

were injected with collagen if they weren't so perfectly shaped. But the most

prominent feature anywhere on her person were her incredibly blue eyes, which

were huge and sparkled with excitement- I recognized them. I looked back for a

moment and Tyler and Milly both smiled at me as I saw replicas of those eyes in

both of their faces. I had seen her in the car a few times already, but she had

always been wearing sunglasses and huge sweatshirts. "Hello," she said, "Nice to

see you again, Angela." I smiled widely, because it seemed impossible to not smile

at this woman as she smiled up at me. "You, too," I replied.

© 2010

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 91

Sure enough, as I had warned Tyler, the summer of wooing began, and he and I were dragged to various places to be onlookers as Selena tried to win over Ed. "Drawe," she would call him, and in an either ironic or tacky way, she would draw out this last name of his all the time, while laughing at something that he had said, which was usually not really all that funny. I could tell her would cave some time, she was convincing when she wanted to be, but he was stronger than most of her interests, and he seemed like he wanted quite a while of wooing before he would take it upon himself to ask her out. Which meant, a whole lot of trips to lakes, movies, malls, and concerts for Tyler and I. Which neither of us really minded, since it was basically what we would have been doing anyway, and these were the people that we probably would have been doing it with anyway. Shane and Emily came back in late June, a few weeks after we got out of school, and they sometimes joined us on these excursions, sometimes didn't. They seemed to go on a lot of one day trips, driving six hours to a place where they could ski and then coming back at, like, three AM, or driving eight hours to some beach. Their parents were like that- always wanted to spend time with them, and thought of creative ways to make sure that this happened. Tyler and I joined them on a couple of these, but mostly they just seemed like too much driving for so short a trip.

When I walked into my house, I found my mom dancing around the living

room. The CB remix of I'm Good, I'm Gone by Lykke Li was blasting out of the

living room speakers, and my mom was singing loudly along as she threw

herself around the living room. I laughed, "Hey, mom," I said. She jumped

about eight feet and quickly stopped dancing, grabbing the remote and pressing

pause. "Um," she said, "H-h-hi, Tyler." I shook my head with a chuckle and

walked around her, to my bedroom. About a minute later, the music started

playing again.

I picked up Angela and Selena from Selena's house and we drove down to

the park, where Ed was already sitting on a picnic bench, staring over the play

structure with his headphones in. I walked up behind him and shook his

shoulders, and he jumped. He laughed and pulled out his headphones, "Hey,

guys."

I laughed hysterically as Tyler pushed me on the swings, and Selena and

Ed climbed to the top of the slide, riding down together like eight year olds. I

hung backwards as I swung into Tyler, and he laughed as I slammed into his

stomach. I stayed hanging backwards like that as the swing slowed down,

closing my eyes and feeling my hair move like the water of the ocean. When I

finally came to a relative stop, Tyler knelt down on his knees and smiled

goofily at me as my upside down face hung in front of his. He scrunched up his

nose for a moment and then, in a split-second decision, leaned forward and

kissed me. He pulled away quickly and pushed me again, and I was laughing

again so soon that I barely had time to really register what had just happened,

but the feeling of his lips stung on mine like one of those sour candies you eat

when you're little just for the thrill.

© 2010

Broken Glass, Broken Hearts part 90

"'The time has come,' the walrus said, 'to talk of many things.' Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll." Tyler read the words out of my fifth grade yearbook. When we graduated from elementary school, we had all been allowed to choose a quote that would be put under our picture in the yearbook. Most people chose song lyrics or quotes from people they thought were intelligent, hoping that their quotes would make them, in turn, look also intelligent. Looking back, though, most of them probably blushed at their selection. That quote, from Alice in Wonderland, which Tyler had just read, had been underneath Dustin's picture. When we got into high school, she immediately started thinking about what quote she would have under her senior year photo in the yearbook- and she decided she wanted that same one. "My sister had wanted that to be her senior quote, too," I told him. He smiled and turned the page, looking through other quotes. "She had wanted to paint it on our wall, eventually," I told him. I looked up, "Right there," I informed him, pointing to the space above the secret hallway door where Dustin had planned to eventually have the quote put up. Tyler looked there, too, and said, "So why don't you?" I blinked at him, "What?" He shrugged, "Yea," he said, "I think you should." He looked back at the yearbook and I looked back at the wall, wondering why I had never thought of that. "Oh," he said, "Here's yours." He cleared his throat and read aloud, "To die will be an awfully big adventure. Peter Pan, by J.M. Barrie." He looked up at me and blinked. I blinked right back at him. "Oh," I said, "I'd forgotten that was my quote." I bit my lip and looked down at the yearbook, as if I had to see the words for myself to really believe it. Tyler looked at the floor in front of us and I looked directly at the spot where he was looking as I said, or perhaps whispered, "Dustin had always said that she agreed with that." Tyler's eyebrows furrowed, "Well," he said. He turned to look at me and smiled slightly, sadly, "I bet it was."

Selena, Ed, Angela, and I were all sitting by one of the upper lakes. Selena was pretending to get a tan as she lay out on her towel, though I suspected she really just wanted to stretch out her figure, for Ed's viewing sake. I probably would have noticed on my own time eventually, but when Selena called Angela's house and told her, (notice- told, not asked,) that we (we being Angela and I, who had become even more of a packaged deal than we used to be,) along with Ed, were going up to the second upper lake, Angela had said promptly, after Selena had hung up, "Ed is her current catch." I laughed, "Oh really?"

"Yes. Really. Prepare yourself, for we are about to be pulled into a summer of wooing. She will use us at every chance she can get as an excuse to hang out with that boy."

Now, this theory was being proven as Selena lay on the shore of the lake in her bathing suit, though the trees were thick enough that the few rays of sun that might reach us would definitely not tan us. Angela was sitting very close to the water, trying to decide whether or not to swim. Ed and I were sitting on a huge boulder, staring out over the water, and Ed was, much to Selena's gratification, periodically looking away from the water and over to her spread out frame. I was doing the same, looking from the trees and the sparkling lake to Angela's hands as they played with the water, and her hair as it spilled over her shoulders, or her shoulders themselves when she used her hand to move all her hair away from one side of her as she reached into the lake to pull out a handful of the soft mud. She had a loose t-shirt on over her bathing suit, but as she stood up, finally deciding to get in the water, it brushed along her hip so that I could see the shape of it. When she dived in and then jumped back up, the shirt clung to her, proving just how thin she really was. Her legs looked long, and her hips were pleasantly curved, she was not an hourglass, but clearly not a ruler.

© 2010