My Life: If I Was In Charge part 1

Be Careful What You Wish For

“Everyone has this world inside their minds where everything they could possibly want is real. But think about it: If you have 500 doughnuts, you’re gonna get a stomachache.” 

-Me

There was just something about her. When I looked at her, I couldn’t get myself to look away. Of course she was beautiful, but it wasn’t like the other girls were less attractive than her. She was so determined. When she wanted to make a statement, she didn’t hesitate. People would make fun of her for her strong opinions that a lot of people disagreed with, but if I really thought about it, everything she said had good morals. They were just things that people wanted to deny were the truth. She was a very strong Christian, and she flaunted it. She wore a purity ring and glared at people when they cussed. But then, right when you’re starting to think she’s this strong independent girl who doesn’t care what anybody says, she turns into this innocent little screw-up who can’t walk on a flat surface or catch a ball from a foot away. She was so confusing! And then I’d be sitting there and look up at her, and she’d be staring at me. And then she’d look away. And then the next time I looked up, she’d be staring at me again. So of course that would make me think she liked me, but then later when she’s with her friends she’d make fun of me and laugh at me! What am I supposed to make of that?!

My friends hated him. He was a jerk, he was annoying, he was a pervert, he was just altogether...bad. And at first I agreed with them. Being the innocent pure girl that I am, of course I would hate him. But then one day, I looked at him as I would in someone else’s body, and I saw the beauty there. I know, that’s totally shallow. But, I can just tell, somewhere under all that muck the world has thrown on him is a good person. Somewhere down there...deep... I also had dreams about him. One night I just went to sleep, and there he was, my knight in shining armor, (well, not literally,) and in my mind now he’s the guy from those dreams. I’ve seen what most girls might never see: a him without all the bad stuff. A him that’s a good person. And I know somehow that the guy from my dreams is in him somewhere...deep down... I mean honestly, can you blame the guy? Look at the world he lives in. Look at the movies, the TV, the books, the PEOPLE. In their minds, most guys think the way he does, they just don’t express it orally. Sometimes I’ll be just leaning back against something and then all the sudden I’m imagining that he’s sitting there behind me with his arms around me. That whatever I’m leaning against is actually him. And it feels real. It feels AMAZING. Girls want guys to express their feelings. Guys want other things. Girls just need to face the facts: guys do not have a female mind, and they NEVER will. Oh and of course you’ll find someone who seems like the perfect guy, he likes you for who you are, he doesn’t think of you that away, and he’s just altogether amazing, and then you’ll find out he’s gay. Face it girls: they’re all the same. 

When she’s with her friends, its like I’m a different guy or something. In one class she’s staring at me and helping me with my homework and all that, and then once she’s with her friends again she’s making fun of me TO MY FACE and laughing at me. What’s up with that? I thought GUYS were supposed to be the ones who acted different in front of their friends. That’s just whacked.

Have you ever listened to a song and just closed you eyes and imagined that you were at a dance or something dancing to the song with the guy you like? Yeah well, I have. Multiple times. 

To be continued...

©2009