I Hate You. Really? I Love You. part 1

This story is dedicated to Chelsea Thompson, my amazing older sister! Happy eighteenth Chelsea! I love you!

Prologue

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

“Can’t we just stay friends?”

“Its not you, its me.”

“Its over.”

“I will love you forever.”

“Get away from me!

“Shut up and let me go!”

“What do you want?”

“Do you love me?”

“I hate her.”

Typical. Typical, typical, typical. What is it with romance and saying I love you? What is it with enemies saying I hate you? Are either of those phrases ever really true? I mean, sure you get a feeling for someone that can’t be permitted, but really, is love actually real? I don’t mean love for God or your family, I mean love…you know, love between a girl and a boy. And hatred. Do you ever really hate someone? These things swirl around in my head all the time.

Once, I thought I was in love. But then it ended, and I thought I hated the person. But now I wonder: if I had loved him, is it really possible that I ever actually hated him? And if I hated him, is it really possible that I loved him? So did I love him, or did I hate him? Maybe neither? 

There are these girls I know that I like to call the “So-called EPGs”, or so-called emotionally privileged girls. They’re always coming up to me and saying, “I’m in love!” or “You know who I hate?” What am I supposed to say, “I don’t believe in love and hate.” They would think that I’m some kind of freak. And anyway, its not that I don’t believe in those things, its just that I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed real love or real hatred. It can be very confusing.

Chapter One: What We have in Common

I sat in my biology class and stared at my paper. Really? We were REALLY going to dissect a cow eye? Just one question: WHY?!

A new boy walked in through the front of the classroom. He was good looking, he had a nice smile. His shirt had the song lyric “looking for love” on it. I looked back down at my paper. Of course, he was assigned the seat next to me. “Hello,” he said in a friendly voice as he sat next to me. He had a huge, gorgeous smile on his face. He really was good looking, but I wasn’t interested. I smiled back, “Hi. Welcome. I hope you find what you’re looking for,” I said in a kidding tone as I motioned toward his shirt. He laughed, “Oh, I’m not sure that I’m looking for it. In fact, I’m not sure that I believe it exists.” I stared at him in astonishment, “You mean you’re not sure if you believe in love?” He looked at me with a ‘why did I have to say that’ expression. “Uh, well, not exactly…” he started to say. I interrupted him, “I’m not either!” He looked at me with a surprised expression. “Really?” he asked. I smiled and nodded. He looked away, “Wow. No one has ever agreed with me before.”

“Yea. Me neither.”

“My name is Jonathon,” he said. I smiled, “Krisstin, but you can call me Krissy.” I laughed, “Most of my friends call me Prissy Krissy or little Miss Kriss.” He smiled, “Well then Miss Priss, its nice to meet you.” I smiled, “You too, Sir Johnny.” He laughed, and I smiled wider. He had a nice laugh.

Jonathon came to lunch with me. “Guys, this is Jonathon. But you can call him Sir Johnny,” I said with a laugh. My friends looked at him and then looked at me and smiled. “Its nice to meet you Jonathon. Are you assuming a relationship with our Prissy Krissy?” my friend Jayd said. I rolled my eyes, but Jonathon replied smartly with, “Miss Priss helped me with the cow eye dissection. It was nasty.” Instantly, the subject was switched from me and Jonathon to the ‘disgustingness’ of the cow eye dissection. “Thank you,” I mouthed to Jonathon. “I didn’t do it for you,” he whispered. I giggled. This guy was pretty cool. “SOAP OPERAS SCARE ME INTENSELY!” Jonathon suddenly yelled out. I stared at him, “Where did that come from?!” I asked. “They were talking about One Tree Hill,” he said. “What? How can soap operas possibly scare you? I love soap operas!” Elizabeth said. Jonathon leaned over toward her, making it seem like he was going to whisper a secret to her. “See here’s the thing:” he whispered, “I’m a guy…and you’re a girl!” She laughed. I smiled. Justin, Elizabeth’s boyfriend, glared at him. Jonathon sat back into his seat and instantly got mixed into the conversation about music, TV shows, make up, and gum flavors. I couldn’t even keep up with them, but Jonathon fit right into our little popular table. I sighed and got up from the table to go steal food from my little sister. Jonathon instantly popped up from the table and joined me. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Uh…coming with you. Wherever you’re going,” he replied. “But you seemed to be having so much fun with them,” I said. He smiled, “I was! They’re hysterical. But I can relate to you more.” I stared at him, “Me?” He nodded. I looked down at the ground, “Umm…oh. Ok.” 

“You’re not used to a guy following you around, are you?” he asked. I shook my head. “I’m surprised. I would think you would have had many by now. You’re so beautiful.” I blushed, and then I noticed that he blushed too, “Umm…uhh…I mean, uhh…” I smiled. “Thank you,” I said. He stared me in the eyes. For a minute, I had no idea what to do. I tried to pull myself out of it, because I hate it when my brain tricks me into thinking I’m in love. Then he did something totally unexpected. He reached down toward me and pushed the hair over my eye behind my ear. My eyes widened. “Oh! Uh…sorry…I…uhh…I just…I didn’t mean to…” he stuttered. I put my hand up. “Its ok. Just one thing: If you’re ever going to do something like that again, don’t do it in front of Jayd and Elizabeth. They’ll get the wrong idea and never shut up about it." He laughed, “Ok. Sounds like a deal.”

Its strange, I don’t know if I like this guy, or if I don’t. But one thing is clear: I don’t love him. No…no way. 

To be continued...

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